- Coaches no longer engage in a fistfight at the start of the 3rd quarter.
- Fixed the bug that replaced the entire Minnesota Vikings roster with dogs wearing football pads.
- Clip size on the AK-47 has been reduced to 30.
- Fixed the bug that allowed Clay Matthews to perform a Fatality on the quarterback after recording his third sack.
- Physics bug: The coin will no longer land on both heads and tails simultaneously, causing a tear in the fabric of the universe and awarding the game to the visiting team by way of forfeit.
- The "Hail Mary" play no longer summons Jesus, unless performed by Tim Tebow.
- Referees no longer engage in a fistfight at the start of the 3rd quarter.
- Flags are no longer thrown for "Illegal Use of Jazz Hands"
- Physics bug: Players can no long match catches with their feet.
- Fixed the bug that caused the San Diego Chargers' linebackers to break dance when lining up for a blitz.
- Coaching staff can no longer be subbed in if too many injuries are sustained at a position.
- Torsos are now connected to legs.
- Reduced the cooldown on healing potions by 8 seconds.
- Removed "Armageddon" as a weather option.
- Tackling a player, ripping their arm off, and beating them to death (LB button on Xbox 360, L1 on PS3) will now correctly result in a "Unnecessary Roughness" penalty for 15 yards.
- Fixed the bug that replaced the Coach's Challenge flag with a hand grenade.
- When trying to sign players to a contract, removed the "Hookers & Blow" option from the list of incentives, except for the Oakland Raiders.
- Physics bug: Character models will no longer become permanently fused together after the start of game handshake.
- Spider Man is no longer the New York Jets' quarterback.
- Fixed the bug that would cause Cthulhu R'lyeh to randomly appear on the field and start eating players. This now only occurs if the Cleveland Browns play in a a Superbowl, as intended.
- Friendly fire is now turned "Off" by default.
- Fixed the bug that replaced the medical cart with a humorously tiny clown car that the character model was stuffed into.
- Fixed the bug that causes the coach to kick the quarterback in the nuts after every play.
- Changed the default camera angle to "Standard" instead of "Spinning-Wildly-While-Trapped-In-Field-Goal-Post-Geometry"
- In addition to a quarterback's "Vision" stat, a new "Distraction" stat has been added. Quarterbacks with a lower number are more likely to be distracted by birds, funny-shaped clouds, really long grass blades, and people slurping their drinks really loudly.
- Selecting the Miami Dolphins no longer takes you straight to the post game, showing that you lost 70-3.
- Found the cause of the bug that replaced the Chicago Bears' offensive line with a large saloon door. However, after extensive play-testing, it was determined the saloon door did a better job of stopping sacks than the actual offensive line. Bug still exists.
- Physics bug: Players chest-bumping after scoring a touchdown no longer causes them to each fly away from each other at supersonic speeds.
- Cheerleaders no longer engage in fistfights at the start of the 3rd quarter.
Take a step into the twisted and oft-enraged mind of Justin Heins. Justin provides reviews of movies, games, and television, and does it all through the immense pain inflicted on him by these horrible pieces of entertainment trash.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Madden 13 Patch Notes
Patch Notes for Madden NFL 13 (as of September 18th, 2012):
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Did you write these?
ReplyDeleteNope. Legitimate bugs. I mean, holy crap, look at that list.
ReplyDeleteSome of these aren't exactly fixes... Spiderman was fine on the jets. I mean, seriously, they thought the SCARLET SPIDER was an improvement? #BringBackSpidey
ReplyDeleteSpider-Man was my favorite quarterback... :(
ReplyDelete