Spelunky - A Journal

Day 1
Adventure! I have arrived at the entrance to a mine deep underground. There are ancient statues and carvings all over the walls by the entrance. Surely this is the find that I've been looking for! I've been adventuring in ancient caverns and ruins for my entire life and have never found anything like this! I can't wait to find out what's inside...

Day 2
Well that is odd. I find myself standing outside the entrance to the caves, and yet I was sure that I had just explored the mines yesterday. In fact, I seem to recall falling a great distance and (quite painfully) landing on some large spikes. Perhaps that was a dream? Ah, no matter! Onward! Adventure!

Day 3
Despite the fact I can still remember the searing pain as the acidic spittle from that cobra dissolved my skin into dust, I am again at the entrance to the caves. I feel there is some dark power at work here. I must find a way to stop it.

Day 4
I managed to uncover plenty of valuable gems and gold within the caves, and then happened upon a shopkeeper! He was selling all sorts of interesting gadgets, but most fascinating was the jetpack! I purchased it and began testing it out. Then I fell down a mineshaft, broke both my legs, and was devoured, bit by bit, by spiders. Adventure.

Day 12
I find myself inching ever closer to what appears to be a lush jungle, but each time I think I will escape these wretched mines, I find myself being offed in a variety of manners. It really is becoming quite unnerving to experience so many different levels of pain. However, I feel this adventure is just getting started. Onward!

Day 13
I made it into the jungle, and had all of ten seconds to take everything in before I was slowly devoured by a man-eating plant. I swear I can still feel its teeth boring into my flesh. I also met an odd man who seems to be trapped in the same loop as I am. He offered to dig a tunnel back to the main entrance, allowing me to bypass the mines. I gave him what he asked for, so hopefully that will pan out.

Day 16
While trying to bomb out a path I accidentally threw the explosive into the shop. The man proceeded to blast me repeatedly with a shotgun. I am considering taking up drinking at this point.

Day 22
Met the man in the tunnels again as I had made it through the mines. I again provided him the supplies he requested with the hopes I can stop having to visit these forsaken mines. I made it quite a bit further into the jungles this time, until I was stung to death repeatedly by giant bees. I'm allergic. I expanded to the size of a balloon and felt immense pain in every part of my body before I finally submitted to the sweet, sweet embrace of eternal slumber. I think I'll enlist in the Army after this journey. No one will ever be able to torture information out of me.

Day 31
Goddamned spiders.

Day 39
Aha! The man in the tunnels has completed his work and I now have access to the jungles directly! I may find my way out of here yet! I'm back here now because my flesh was rended from my bones by giant piranha. I'm still not sure all of it's here. Also, based on the number of empty beer bottles lying around the entrance, I am concerned that I'm becoming an alcoholic.

Day 42
I found the entrance to a series of frozen caves just past the jungle today. Again I found the tunnel man, who offered to make yet another shortcut. I provided the supplies and journeyed forth. I then fell into an endless chasm until I died from the G-Force trauma. This sort of thing was NOT covered by any of the archeology or safety classes I've taken. Additionally, I doubt my insurance will cover it.

Day 59
Jumped onto spikes for the hell of it. I guess I'm getting used to the pain. Or the alcohol is helping. Haven't made it to the ice caves again in weeks. I hate this place.

Day 70
Made it to the ice caves again, and found an amazing discovery! Extraterrestrial life! Yes, aliens! I witnessed their presence as they vaporized me with a flying saucer. Every molecule of my body became searing pain for an instant before I opened my eyes here again.

Day 81
Goddamned spiders.

Day 92
The shortcut to the ice caves is finished! The tunnel man has been a great help in allowing me to further my quest, which has gone on for 3 months now, by my count. Assumed it actually is a new day each time I reappear here. It could be the same day I arrived. I haven't seen natural light in what feels like ever.

Day 121
Finally made it through the damn ice caves. Did you know that yeti exist? No? Did you know they like to freeze you solid and then break little bits off your body for fun? No? Do you have any idea how much that hurts? I do. Found the tunnel man and again provided some supplies to him. Bastard better hurry. I've fallen to my death so many times I no longer have any sense of speed or height. The next area appears to be a temple, but I was too drunk by the time I got there to remember anything except falling directly into a pool of lava and slowly melting away. Adventure.

Day 136
Again found my way to the temple. Gave some supplies to the tunnel man and found myself sober enough to recall the inside of this hidden place. The temple looked to have several ancient carvings and was filled with both lava and traps. Also, there was Anubis, Egyptian god of death, just floating around. I wanted to get a closer look when he blasted me with this purple ray, which sucked the soul from my body, allowing me to feel pain on an ethereal level while I watched him hack my body to pieces as I floated helplessly. I think I need to see a psychologist after this, because the books we could write from my experiences here could make billions.

Day 140
Shockingly made it through the caves yet again, and ran into tunnel man. Do you know what this asshole asked me for this time? He's asked for bombs, rope, cash, and a shotgun (?) up to this point. This time? He asked for a gold key. I told him the only one I've seen is in the mines. Guess what that means? This jackass wants me to go through the mines, all the way back to the tunnel to the temple, while carrying a huge ass golden key. I told him to go screw himself. Then, I fell into some lava again. I may have been drunk.

Day 221
I've intentionally killed myself around 20 times now. Who cares? I'm never getting out of this goddamned place. Managed to see a giant ghost last week. As he passed through my body I froze and then proceeded to explode into dust. Hooray.

Day 242
I managed to bring the tunnel man the key. I now have direct access to the temple I also somehow managed to make it to what I presume is the end. The ancient spirit Olmec then took control of a giant idol head and crushed me into a fine paste.

Day 271
I think I've figured out Olmec's secret! I think if I act carefully, I can get the idol to smash through the floor into the lava below! I'm going to test this theory! Adventure!

Day 319
The theory has merit, I just need to stop drinking so I might actually be focused enough to get it to work. I've been crushed so many times I sometimes forget how bones work.

Day 361
I write this standing outside what I can only assume is the exit. For over a year, I have been trying to find my way out of this hellish cavern. The evil spirit Olmec constructed this ever-changing deathtrap for his own amusement, and now I've beaten him. His idol melts in a pool of lava, far below, and I stand before what I can only assume is the final door. I look forward to leaving this place and putting my experiences to use. Maybe even getting a proper crew together to explore this place in more detail. The experience has been difficult, terrifying, and has left more psychological scars than I can even imagine, but now, it's over. I've won. And I never have to go through this again.

Day 362
GOD DAMN IT.

Best Game of 2012

Well, since everyone else is doing it, I think it's time for me to take a look at this past year and give out my Best Game of 2012 award. I will admit that it's been a pretty tame year for me as far as game purchases go. At my count, I've only played 10 games that were released this year. So, I will rank all 10 of them in order and why they are where they are. Actually, it's kind of convenient, because that allows me to make a top 10 list again. That worked out well the last couple of times."

10. Battleship (Xbox 360)

Y'know, I would go into great detail about my thoughts on this game... oh wait, I already did that. Atrociously bad, one of the worst examples of a budget FPS I've ever seen, and I lived through the early 2000s when everyone and their mother was making awful First Person games.

9. Diablo III (PC)

I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't get as much out of Diablo III as I feel like I should. The new level up system is okay... though it does take away the feeling that you are a specialized character. Also, equipment is pretty much strictly for appearances now, as it all feels very bland (especially since you never just attack with your weapons, you're always using a special skill of some kind.) I get why they made the decisions they did, but I just don't feel like the game is the same level of awesome that Diablo II was, though some of that could be just my tastes in gaming changing. Although, other games still prove that being loot-driven can be tons of fun, which I will get back to later.

8. Mark of the Ninja (Xbox 360 Arcade)

Two-dimensional stealth is actually a lot of fun. This game brings its share of frustrations, but at its core this game hits the key notes that make 2D gaming great. The levels are mostly static, meaning that your performance is based 95% on your skill (with 5% being up to if the game decides it doesn't want to do something you told it to.) Also, the controls are very simple and easy to get used to. All in all, a good game, but it does fall short in having some repetative level design, incrediably dumb enemies, and an overreliance on QTEs (especially for takedowns).

7. Madden 13 (Xbox 360)

Yeah, I'm a Madden whore and I end up buying the new game every year. I do this for two reasons: one, because I love football. Two, because I like watching games evolve. Madden is one of the few games that can get me to buy it every year it releases, and it does so by promising new features that I've been wanting. This year, for example, the game added an actual physics engine, a more robust season/career mode, and a much stronger passing game. It executes all three of these very well, but there are some issues holding it back. One is that the physics engine is hilariously wonky at times, and you will often see your own players tripping over each other, especially after plays. Also, the running game hasn't really been balanced to reflect the new physics engine yet and needs some work, since running back performance will range between Barry Sanders and... well, Me in Football Pads. Good game, and I'll see how next year's game expands on this one.

6. Theatrhythm Final Fantasy (3DS)

I was a big fan of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, so I'm no stranger to rhythm based games. However, I've never played one without the aid of an instrument (minigames notwithstanding). For example, I know some people love Patapon, which is heavily rhythm based, but I didn't have that frame of reference going into this game. However, this is absolutely phenomenal. It probably helps that they've put in some of the most iconic music of my childhood on here to play along with, but Theatrhythm also has some RPG elements that provide a bit more strategy. You can set up your character so they can perform better in the "Battle" style songs, or so that they can keep going even if you make more mistakes than usual, or you can even set yourself up with no aids, allowing you to get the best scores in the game with the added challenge. The game is really solid and offers a lot of great additional songs as DLC to expand the 70-some song main game to a maximum of around 120. If you like the music from Final Fantasy and you enjoy rhythm based games, you shouldn't miss out on this.

5. Minecraft (Xbox 360 Arcade)

Also known as Digital Legos: The Time Devourer. Yeah, I don't even want to start trying to figure out how many hours I've put into this game. What I love about Minecraft is that it doesn't look all that great (though it is stylized, and it captures the target look very well), has some bugs in it, and can be brutally and unfairly difficult at times, yet you just want to keep playing it. They've done a lot of work to the game since it's release in May to bring it up to where the original PC version is currently at, and we're at a state now that the game is an absolute blast. If I had to give it one major knock it would be that the combat is very unfulfilling and basic, but despite that minor gripe, it's hard to find another game that allows you to do what this game does, as well as this game does it. If you've never experienced Minecraft, I heavily recommend checking it out. I really can't sum it up any better than that.

4. Mass Effect 3 (Xbox 360)

Ah, the first smell of controversy, I'd imagine. Don't get me wrong, Mass Effect 3 is good. Damn good, in fact. The gameplay is very solid and the graphics are absolutely beautiful. The story even does a great job of evolving the game world from the last two Mass Effects and it really it's cool to see how some of your decisions have helped to shape the universe as you prepare for the final conflict. The obvious place this game fell short is the conclusion. I will admit that the Extended Cut did help provide a lot more closure, but I think my biggest frustration was that I had to spend so much time defending this game to people, when it should have stood on its own. Despite that, the game is still great (though not as great as Mass Effect 2 was), and the multiplayer is quite engaging and enjoyable, and doesn't feel tacked on at all. Plus, you can tell how much they care about the multiplayer, considering how much free content they've pumped into it (six new maps, several new enemies, new mission objectives, new characters, new weapons, the list goes on.)

3. WWE 13 (Xbox 360)

Bear with me here. Yes, I know being a fan of wrestling skews my views and opinions, but I've had just a stupid amount of fun with this game. Not only have I greatly enjoyed the amount of work (and nostalgia) that was injected into the single player, but I haven't had this much fun in a multiplayer game in quite a while. The gameplay is exciting and fun, and you never really feel like you're being screwed over by the controls or engine. Your performance is completely controlled by your skills and your character's abilities. That hasn't been the case in a wrestling game in a LONG time. Hell, the online even works really well, which is something that has never happened with this franchise. All in all, the more I play this, the more I truly think this is the best wrestling game I've played. I know some of you might call BS on this one, but hey, this is my list, and these are my rules. If you want a more detailed look at this one, I've got you covered.

2. Halo 4 (Xbox 360)

Hard to knock this one. Halo 4 is great. This is coming from a guy who really isn't a Halo fan. Hell, sometime soon I'm going to be putting up a post talking about Halo, since I have a lot of thoughts on the games, but that's not the point of this list. The story in this game was gripping, intense, and a hell of a lot of fun (at least on Normal, something else I want to talk about in another post... holy crap am I rambling a lot.) The multiplayer is even a lot more fun and balanced, although I'm actually kind of pissed that they took out Firefight from this year's game. Spartan Ops simply is not the same thing, and doesn't have the same level of enjoyment that Firefight provided in Halo Reach and Halo ODST. I would heavily recommend this game, even if just for the the campaign, though. I also must say that the idea of how AI Rampancy works... is just phenomenal. It's damn near Lovecraftian, which means I am obligated to love it.

1. Borderlands 2 (Xbox 360)

Cream of the damn crop here. Borderlands 2 has proven that loot based games still have a place in our gaming culture. This literally wasn't even on my list of games for the year to purchase, but somehow, here it is. The first Borderlands game tended to be excruciatingly boring, especially if you were playing it by yourself, and the story can be broken down to "You hero, open door, kill bad things." There were a couple of interesting characters on the way, but the game ultimately took itself way too seriously the entire way through. Borderlands 2, however, is completely different. The gameplay is a lot more fun with the vastly varying weapons and enemies, the unique skill trees of each character, and the story. Holy crap, the story is so good. It starts off with a literal bang, and just keeps growing into a bigger and bigger snowball of awesome. I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say this: Handsome Jack is the greatest video game villain of the year, bar none, and deserves to be high up on a Top 10 list of all time greatest villains. The guy is everything a bad guy should be. The game is great, the multiplayer makes it better, and the story actually makes you care about the world. Great job all around to Gearbox on this one.

Do you agree with this list? Disagree? Want to call me names? Feel free to do any/all of the following in the comments section.

WWE 13 Review

Well, the time has come for THQ to once again present us with the newest iteration of their wrestling game franchise. WWE 13 came in with a whole lot of fanfare this year, mainly due to the involvement of Paul Heyman and the return of the Attitude Era in a WWE game. This decision ended up being one of the best decisions they could have made.

Let's start out with a precursor, if you played WWE 12, you can probably just skip ahead a couple paragraphs, because I'm going to talk about the controls and gameplay, which remain largely unchanged from last years game. So, just go ahead and meet me up ahead. It's cool, I don't mind.

Now, if you haven't played a wrestling game in a while, the controls will seem a bit different to you, most likely. How long it's been since you last played a wrestling game will really affect how long it takes to adjust to the new controls. You strike with X/Square (Xbox/PS3), Grapple with A/X, Irish Whip and Pin with B/O, run by holding LT/L2, counter with RT/R1, get in and out of the ring/climb/pick up things with LB/L1, and perform special moves with Y/Triangle. Everything else is a combination of those buttons. After playing a few matches, it will start to feel very intuitive.

Along with the controls is a much heavier impact on realistic situations. That means you can no longer go from facing away from your opponent to running straight at them, you will have to turn around. All weapons have physics applied to them, meaning moves can be done on top of them, and they will move around (semi-)realistically in the ring. Also, one of the biggest (and most welcome) changes from previous games is the pin system. You no longer mash buttons and hope the game feels bad for you, you will get a meter that you fill up by holding the A button. If you stop it in the target area, you kick out. This is harder the more beat up you are, and actually gives you some level of involvement in kicking out of a big move.

Now, welcome back people from earlier. Let's talk about what changed from WWE 12 to WWE 13. For starters, let's talk about what is undoubtedly the coolest change: catch finishers. In one of my first multiplayer games, I was playing against my brother-in-law, who was playing as Randy Orton. I was playing as John Cena. I went to go for my top-rope Fameasser, like you do, and he instead hit me with his RKO as I dove at him. He finished me right there, and it was gloriously awesome to watch. Catch finishers can completely change a match in unbelievably cool ways and really bring a whole new element to the game. All you have to do is hit Y/Triangle when you have a finisher as the opponent is doing a springboard/top rope move and you will nail them as they fly in. Just keep in mind that not every move can do this (for obvious reasons).

Beyond that, a new type of special move called an OMG! moment has been added. I have so far found 3 different ones in the game. When you have a finisher, if the opponent is on the announce table, you can use an OMG! move to put them through in a big way. Alternatively, you can spear them through the barricades around the ring. Finally, if both people are using super heavyweight characters (Big Show, Mark Henry, Vader, etc.) then you can do a top-rope superplex that will break the goddamn ring. Note, that this will end the match in a no-contest, because broken ring.

So that's the control, let's talk about gameplay. The biggest thing I want to note about the gameplay is the enhanced AI intelligence... so long as you're playing on the highest difficulty setting. The AI is atrociously bad if you play on anything but the highest difficulty, just to give fair warning. But on the highest setting, the AI will actually be very methodical in how they fight you, based on the character they play. For example, when facing Shawn Michaels, they will do a lot of high-impact moves and taunting, trying to build up a finishing move as fast as possible. Ken Shamrock, meanwhile, will beat up your individual body parts, weakening you and making it easier to get you to submit to the Ankle Lock.

That's the AI, but how is the gameplay in multiplayer? Well, online is laggy is hell, but let's talk local multiplayer. How does it hold up? Amazingly.

So far I've played about 16 multiplayer matches. All of them have been very good and a couple have even given off a big-match feel with both people really trying to send the match home as finishers get countered and near-falls keep occurring. So far the game has been just unbelievably fun in each kind of multiplayer match... with the exception of tag team matches. I don't know the reasoning behind this, but in this years game, performing a ring-clearing hot-tag will no longer yield a finisher. My guess is that was done because most matches boiled down to "make the hot tag, hit finisher, ???, profit." However, this decision ends up slowing tag matches down quite a bit, which is disappointing. One other note about multiplayer, I would heavily recommend turning off the reversal indicators after the first few matches, once you're comfortable with the system, otherwise it becomes a game of "wait for the indicator, hit button." Varying your timing does no good if an indicator always pops up at the time to press it.

So, after that, let's talk Single Player. Specifically, let's talk the new campaign mode, Attitude Era. Attitude Era is how you unlock everything in the game, and you do it by playing through recreations of some of the biggest (and coolest) moments in the Attitude Era. From the Rise of D-X, to the Brothers of Destruction, each campaign feeds off the previous one and tells the story of what made the Attitude Era so great, featuring clips from that time period, commentary from that time period (which really adds a lot to the matches) and a list of bonus objectives for each match that involves recreating specific moments from those historical matches. All-in-all, it is pretty awesome stuff that is a HUGE improvement over last years "Road to Wrestlemania" campaign, which took all control away and presented incomprehensible storylines and character motivations that make no sense. Overall, a huge step in the right direction and one that should set the bar for future games.

The game also comes with the largest roster in wrestling game history (with the exception of WCW Nitro, but since most of the characters in that game weren't real wrestlers, that doesn't count). With no DLC, there are 72 wrestlers, 2 managers, and 8 divas. After all the DLC is released, there will be 88 wrestlers, 2 managers, and 10 divas, for 100 characters in the game. Also, even though there is multiple versions of the same character, the game does a great job of differing the movesets based on how the character has changed. For example, Hunter Hearst Helmsley has a very different moveset from the modern-era Triple H.

Also, the game includes over 20 championship belts that can be defended or challenged for. Some of these are iterations of the same title (the WWE title, for example, has the modern version, the Attitude-Era circle belt, the Smoking Skull belt, Edge's Rated-R spinner, Miz's inverted spinner, the Rock's Brahma Bull belt, the classic winged-eagle belt, and also (incredibly) the 1987 and the retro pre-87 versions of the belt (held by such legends as Hulk Hogan and Bruno Sammartino). Also, you have the option of over 30 arenas to compete in, which are all spot-on representations of both modern and classic-era Pay-Per-View events.

So, lots of customization, plenty of possible matches, competent AI (mostly), and a whole lot of variety on the stakes, so are there any problems? Well, of course. One thing that irritates me is that the online continues to be very laggy, something that has been the case since online was introduced. Also, there are come minor nuances with the Attitude-Era characters. For example, to get all the griping out of the way: Eddie Guerrero comes out in the low-rider (he didn't start doing this until 2002), Road Dogg's entrance is censored (yet Billy Gunn is still using his "Mr. Ass" music), Attitude-Era D-X Triple H looks WAY too buff (he didn't significantly bulk up until he adopted "The Game" moniker in mid-2000), no Dudley Boyz or Hardy Boyz (contractual limitations due to their involvement in TNA), no Nation of Domination entrance for Rock or Farooq (which is odd, since Mark Henry is in full-on Nation mode), and finally, Dude Love doesn't have the option to wrestle in a tux (like he did during his heel run as Vince's lap dog). Again, most of these are just minor gripes against an overall amazing game, but I figured I'd get them out there.

So, my final verdict? This the most fun I've had with a wrestling game since Smackdown vs. Raw 2007, which I felt was the last "great" wrestling game. The multiplayer is really enjoyable, the single player is engaging and fun (and informative, actually), and the content that you are given is massive. I wholly recommend if you've jumped off the wrestling game bandwagon to hop back on and give this one a try. And if you're not down with that, I've got two words for ya.

Madden 13 Patch Notes

Patch Notes for Madden NFL 13 (as of September 18th, 2012):

• Coaches no longer engage in a fistfight at the start of the 3rd quarter.
• Fixed the bug that replaced the entire Minnesota Vikings roster with dogs wearing football pads.
• Clip size on the AK-47 has been reduced to 30.
• Fixed the bug that allowed Clay Matthews to perform a Fatality on the quarterback after recording his third sack.
• Physics bug: The coin will no longer land on both heads and tails simultaneously, causing a tear in the fabric of the universe and awarding the game to the visiting team by way of forfeit.
• The "Hail Mary" play no longer summons Jesus, unless performed by Tim Tebow.
• Referees no longer engage in a fistfight at the start of the 3rd quarter.
• Flags are no longer thrown for "Illegal Use of Jazz Hands"
• Physics bug: Players can no long match catches with their feet.
• Fixed the bug that caused the San Diego Chargers' linebackers to break dance when lining up for a blitz.
• Coaching staff can no longer be subbed in if too many injuries are sustained at a position.
• Torsos are now connected to legs.
• Reduced the cooldown on healing potions by 8 seconds.
• Removed "Armageddon" as a weather option.
• Tackling a player, ripping their arm off, and beating them to death (LB button on Xbox 360, L1 on PS3) will now correctly result in a "Unnecessary Roughness" penalty for 15 yards.
• Fixed the bug that replaced the Coach's Challenge flag with a hand grenade.
• When trying to sign players to a contract, removed the "Hookers & Blow" option from the list of incentives, except for the Oakland Raiders.
• Physics bug: Character models will no longer become permanently fused together after the start of game handshake.
• Spider Man is no longer the New York Jets' quarterback.
• Fixed the bug that would cause Cthulhu R'lyeh to randomly appear on the field and start eating players. This now only occurs if the Cleveland Browns play in a a Superbowl, as intended.
• Friendly fire is now turned "Off" by default.
• Fixed the bug that replaced the medical cart with a humorously tiny clown car that the character model was stuffed into.
• Fixed the bug that causes the coach to kick the quarterback in the nuts after every play.
• Changed the default camera angle to "Standard" instead of "Spinning-Wildly-While-Trapped-In-Field-Goal-Post-Geometry"
• In addition to a quarterback's "Vision" stat, a new "Distraction" stat has been added. Quarterbacks with a lower number are more likely to be distracted by birds, funny-shaped clouds, really long grass blades, and people slurping their drinks really loudly.
• Selecting the Miami Dolphins no longer takes you straight to the post game, showing that you lost 70-3.
• Found the cause of the bug that replaced the Chicago Bears' offensive line with a large saloon door. However, after extensive play-testing, it was determined the saloon door did a better job of stopping sacks than the actual offensive line. Bug still exists.
• Physics bug: Players chest-bumping after scoring a touchdown no longer causes them to each fly away from each other at supersonic speeds.
• Cheerleaders no longer engage in fistfights at the start of the 3rd quarter.

Nolan Batman - The Dark Knight Rises

WARNING --- THE BELOW TEXT CONTAINS FULL SPOILERS FOR THE DARK KNIGHT RISES! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE PLOT POINTS OF THE MOVIE, DO NOT READ THIS ENTRY! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Opening Thoughts
When I went and saw this movie the first time, I was on-edge. First off, I went in saw in the crappiest IMAX theatre ever, which really irritated me. Second, I went in with the only thought in my mind being there is no way this movie would live up to the hype. And finally, I intentionally didn't rewatch Batman Begins or The Dark Knight because I was afraid it would just show how bad the movie was. Going in this time, I rewatched the previous movies, and I decided to keep a very open mind, trying to be more fair with the movie instead of just trying to nitpick every little thing. So let's see how that went, shall we?

What Works
Christian Bale again does a great job playing both Bruce Wayne and Batman. Bale has a strong connection with these characters, and you can tell he really enjoys playing them, which really makes him shine. There is a clear evolution to both Bruce Wayne and Batman that has taken place over this trilogy, and Bale helpes really bring it to light.

Anne Hathaway gives a stellar performance as Selena Kyle/Catwoman. Another person you can tell really loves her role, she nails the characterizational aspects of the character perfectly. She is able to act innocent, deceptive, and secuctive all within seconds of the same scene, but makes them feel intentional and deliberate.

Tom Hardy is phenomenal as Bane. He gives off a very real sense of danger and is able to reveal a lot of emotion and feeling using only his eyes, since you never see the rest of his face. The voice filter used on Bane makes him a little hard to understand at times (and at others even sound a little silly) but the lines themselves are very good and well put together. He obviously enjoyed bieng in this role and as I have said already twice, that really adds a lot to the character.

Gary Oldman continues to be one of the best parts of the Nolan Films as Commissioner Gordon. Playing the role of a grizzled veteren of streel law enforcement while the city is in a more peaceful time really makes him shine as more and more people come to lean on him, since he's the only one that seems to remember a time when crime was everywhere in Gotham. This is yet another character that is very Well written and very well performed,

Joseph Gordon-Levitt damn near steals the show, however, as Officer Blake/Robin Blake. The amount of energy and spirit his character has turns into a beacon for many of the people in the city, especially once Bane takes over. He is basically an unmasked Batman, fighting with every inch of his body. They are clearly setting him up for a Robin-like role, but never actually put him behind a mask, which I think actually makes him an even stronger character. At the very end they hint that he may take up Batman's cowl, but with Nolan leaving the franchise, it kind of makes me sad to think that we'll never get to see that. I personally think this really sets up the potential for a Batman Beyond movie, but that's just the fanboy in me, I fear.

Michael Caine does a great job playing the humanity side of Batman's equation. When Alfred leaves Bruce to his own devices, it leads to a surprising amount of realization within Bruce's character, as he knows that he is all alone now. While this suits Batman fine, since it elminates the risk of those around him being hurt, he realizes that he already has hurt those around them, or in the case of Rachel, even gotten them killed.

Marion Cotillard as Miranda Tate/Talia. This was basically done as a fanservice, I feel. However, Cotillard did a fine job with the role. She really played on the emotions of Bruce Wayne and there was several small bits of foreshadowing that really built up to the turn well. Overall, Cotilliard did a good job as both good and evil when it was her turn to shine.

Morgan Freeman continues to shine as Lucius Fox. But is that really a surprise?

Nolan's writing really shines in this movie. This story tells the end of Batman and there are a lot of parallels with Batman Begins because of this. In all of these movies, Nolan has done a great job of building everything up for the 3rd act of the movie. The last movie in this trilogy, when you think about it, is little more than the 3rd act of Nolan's Batman movies. Everything ties up nice and neat and pretty much every character shows clear evolution. It's a hell of a Gotham that Nolan has helped form in these movies, I certainly hope that DC doesn't just tear it all down for a reboot, and instead tries to continues to evolve the world.

What Doesn't Work
While they don't really detract from the overall experience, there are a few editing decisions that I think could've really helped the flow of the story. For example, after the scene where Gordan, Miranda and the cops are captured by Bane, there is the scene where Bruce Wayne is brought into Wayne Tower by Selena Kyle. But since this scene is supposed to take place before the capture, Miranda is still at the tower. After the scenes with Bruce, we are at the sentencing for Gordon and company with Crane, so the whole placement of Bruce's scenes seem... out of place. I don't think anything would've been lost by having those scenes happen before Miranda joins Gordon on street patrol, so I'm not sure the reasoning. Other minor thing, showing Batman that soon before the bomb goes off when he clearly would've had to ejected way before then, seem like a strange move. I know it was supposed to really make you believe that Batman was dead, but it just made me stop and think, "Wait, if he ejected 5 seconds before the bomb went off, he'd still be dead!" Again, simple thing to fix, but that one I at least understand the reasoning.

The end of Bane was a little weak. I would've much preferred that Batman have been the one to beat Bane, since he really never won a single fight in the movie. He either ran, got beaten up, or was rescued. However, this was in part because of Bruce Wayne's deteriorating health, so I understand this. I understand that Bane was basically just a front for Talia, but I would've rather seen his comuppance really come to light instead of being blown away by Catwoman. Not a huge gripe, since they transioned the primary villian role away from him right before he died, but still a bit of a disappointment.

The plot was really accellerated. Overall, you never really felt too far behind the plot, but there are a couple of times where you kind of lose where you are in terms of timing. This movie almost feels like it would've benefitted from being split into two parts because they could've spent more time building up to the major conflict. The movie really didn't do anything inherently wrong, but it felt a bit jumpy at times. Again, minor gripe.

Closing Thoughts
After doing things right the second time, I can honestly say that The Dark Knight Rises is a very good movie and is an excellent closure to the Nolan Batman Trilogy. The one question everyone seems to want an answer to, however, is whether or not this movie is better than The Dark Knight. That question is not really answerable with a clean yes or no, since this is a different movie in many ways. This movie shares way more in common with Batman Begins, as it is more of a breakdown of the character of Batman both physically and psychologically. The Dark Knight was more of a typical summer blockbuster which focused way more on the characterization of the Joker and Harvey Dent, letting Batman be more of the glue that held the story together. Not that I'm saying there is no character evaluation of Batman, but it does take more of a backseat to the other villians in the movie. The Dark Knight Rises, however, spends much more time focusing on how everything up to this point has changed Bruce Wayne and, in turn, Batman.

As I stated above, there are some things that would keep this from being my favorite in the trilogy, but this is still a really good movie. Also, this movie has taught me a lesson about the right way to approach going to see a movie. Going into any movie with preconcieved notions about how the movie is going to go or about plot points within the movie will just make you jaded and give the movie an unfair rap. Make those distinctions based on what the movie gives you, not because you've been burned by so many movies that you don't trust any of them. Hell, there's probably a lesson about humanity in there somewhere too, but I think that's enough analysis for now. Solid thumbs up, and thanks for bearing with me through these.

Nolan Batman - The Dark Knight

Opening Thoughts
This movie is amazing. This is probably the seventh time watching this movie, and I love it each and every time I pop it into my Blu-Ray player. The movie has fantastic pacing, storytelling, and some great parallels. Lets look at specifically what works and what doesn't.

What Works
Christian Bale shows clear evolution of both Batman and Bruce Wayne which partially comes from Bale becoming more comfortable in the role. You also get a pretty good look into the psychological state that Bruce is in at this point, where there are some fairly obvious cracks in the armor.

Heath Ledger as the Joker is probably the greatest supervillian role of all time. If you have to take a character like the Joker and make him into a real threat, someone who could exist, Ledger did it perfectly. I still think the best comic book representation is Mark Hamill, but that's more of a cartoony version, while Ledger is more of an actual psychopath. Great casting choice, fantastic one liners and spot-on delivery.

Aaron Eckhart was also great as Harvey Dent/Two-Face. Really, this story focused primarily on breaking the spirit of Dent until he fulfills his own prophecy. Also, Harvey Dent and Bruce Wayne have so many parallels, the conclusion of the movie really is the only way they could've ended. Also, once he fully transformed into Two-Face he became by far the best interpretation of the character I've ever seen.

Michael Caine continues the mentor role and also helps remind Bruce Wayne that the world isn't always in black and white. As stated before, Michael Caine is great in everything, and is one of the best parts of the Nolan Batman movies.

Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox is great in this, as he's given a more expanded role than he was in Begins, acting as the face of Wayne Enterprises than just Batman's version of Q.

Gary Oldman continued his evolution and was the glue that held a lot of the story involving Dent together as Jim Gordon. The twist involving his character also was quite surprising and well done, making you even more involved in the character.

Eric Roberts did a good job as Maroni, the replacement for Tom Wilkinson as Carmine Falcone. I don't think he was quite as good as Wilkinson, nor did he have the same role in shaping the overall story, but he played his particular role very well.

As I said, there are some great storytelling elements in this. There are parallels within Michael Caine's story about the jewel thief and the Joker. Parallels between Bruce Wayne and Harvey Dent. Parallels between Batman and the Joker, and ultimately it gives the story a very smooth feeling.

Again, just like Batman Begins, the character of the city itself was a huge factor in this movie and it really brought the world that Nolan created to life. Even random people on the street had a role in the movie, and it helps the audience relate to the terror that the citizens are experiencing feels like.

What Doesn't Work
Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachael Dawes. Okay, I know that this seems like cheating, since I did the same thing with Katie Holmes, but I do feel like there is a pretty strong character in Rachel, but neither actress was able to make it work. I do thing that Gyllenhaal put more effort in than Holmes did, but ultimately I don't think it mattered much.

Closing Thoughts
The Dark Knight is the quintessential Batman movie. This is the one people are going to think about for a long time to come when someone talks about Batman, mainly because this is the best told story of them all. Where Batman Begins jumped around a bit with it's storytelling (as I said, it still held together well, despite this) you never feel like you don't know where you are in the story. There is a very clear progression of events and time, which is a nice change of pace after Batman Begins.

Okay, I've looked at the first two Batman movies, so I will be back either on Sunday or Monday with a look at The Dark Knight Rises. Stay tuned: same Bat time, same Bat... blog?

-Justin

Nolan Batman - Batman Begins

Here's the backstory to this post: I went and saw The Dark Knight Rises this past Saturday, but I really am having a hard time determining how I feel about the movie overall. I can definitively say the movie was not bad, but I cannot definitively say the movie was good... I just feel like there are some things bothering me about the movie. What I've decided to do, to help rectify this, is to go back and watch the previous 2 Nolan Batman movies and analyzing what I think works, what I think doesn't work. Also, I'm going to try and keep my thoughts focused on the Nolan Batman movies, because some of my frustrations I think came from conflicts between them and the comics.

I started this off by rewatching Batman Begins, and full-disclosure: this is the first time I've watched the movie since I saw it in theatres. I know my initial thoughts on the movie were that I liked it, but I remember having some reservations about it.

Overall Feelings
I definitely liked this movie more the second time. Taking this in as part of the trilogy really makes this movie stronger. I really think they established how Bruce Wayne became Batman well in this movie, making you understand all the elements that led to this. I liked the movie a lot, so let's look at the elements that worked and didn't.

What Works
Michael Caine gives a tremendous performance as Alfred, really showing a true compassion that helps keep both Bruce Wayne and the audience grounded. He basically is the moral compass, and you can feel the influence from his character even when he's not on screen.

Christian Bale does a great job in both roles, and you can see that he becomes more comfortable with the Batman role throughout the movies, which makes sense.

The story is very well paced and easy to follow, despite having four different points in time that are part of the movie (Bruce's childhood, his confrontation with the mob, his self-imposed exile, his return.) Nolan also uses each scene to help build towards many of the character-defining moments for Bruce Wayne/Batman.

Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox works really well, as he and Christian Bale both play off each other really well. To be fair, Morgan Freeman is awesome in almost everything.

Liam Neeson as Henri Ducard/Ra's Al Ghul actually works really well with how they establish the League of Shadows in Nolan's Batman-verse. The League consists of members recruited from many difference cultures and societies, ever growing as the world changes. Also, the statement about Ra's Al Ghul's immortality is handled differently. Where in the comic books, Ra's was actually immortal, in Nolan's world it is a title held by whomever the leader of the League of Shadows is. As I said, this works quite well.

Cillian Murphy as Dr. Johnathan Crane/the Scarecrow is an excellent choice. The way they actually made the Scarecrow work in a realistic environment is awesome and is legitimately freaky. Also, Murphy is just a blast to watch as he plays this role.

Gotham's populace is very much a part of this movie. You constantly see the people everywhere, and you see them interacting with the movie in a variety of ways. It makes the city feel like... well, a city.

Tom Wilkinson as Carmine Falcone is another great casting choice, as his speech he gave to Bruce Wayne in the restaurant was a great example of how to set up the way a character will develop. He clearly enjoyed playing the character, which made it all the more fun.

Gary Oldman as Jim Gordan is fantastic. The way he plays a good cop in the middle of corruption makes his performance feel very genuine. He comes across as an incorruptible good guy who isn't afraid to be unconventional. He also has some great interactions with Christian Bale's Batman throughout, and you can tell they work well together.

The third act is phenomenal. The way everything comes together in the end, the way every plot point actually has an effect on the conclusion, it is exceptional writing from Nolan. There was plenty of tension, the stakes felt high, and everything felt like it was really building up to the confrontation between Batman and Al Ghul.

The revelation of the Joker as the next villain really helped build excitement for the next movie right away, and obviously the pay off was great, but I'll save that for the next movie.

What Doesn't Work
Katie Holmes as Rachael Dawes. She really doesn't have any chemistry with anyone, and she really doesn't seem to be invested in the character. The lines she has are pretty good, but her delivery falls flat in most cases.

The end of the Scarecrow was one of the weaker ends to a supervillian. I get that they established that Rachel carries a taser and I get that Scarecrow isn't a fighter. But, one of the most intimidating and psychological villains in the Batman universe was taken out by being shot in the face by a taser. That's... kind of anticlimactic.

Finch, Rachel's boss and someone they hint might have a romantic attachment (or at least a fatherly attachment) to Rachel is dropped without resolution. Yes, we see him get killed, but it still feels like a dropped (and therefore, unnecessary) plot point. You could just as easily had a generic cop that was checking the manifest get killed off, it would've had the same impact. Minor gripe.

Final Thoughts
As I said, Batman Begins is a really good way to launch into Batman, especially if you've never really seen a Batman movie before. I could get into all kinds of debates about weather Christian Bale was better than Michael Keaton, was Nolan's Batman Begins better than Tim Burton's Batman, but ultimately that's not what I'm focusing on. If you want a really good Batman origin story and a great way to kick off a trilogy, you could sure do a helluva lot worse than this. Solid thumbs up.

We will be back tomorrow looking at The Dark Knight. I'm really looking forward to rewatching it again, so stay tuned!

The Next 10 Games that Didn't Make the Top 10

Allow me to start off by saying that I stand by the Top Ten list that I released last week. Those games all belong where they are at and this list isn't mean to change that. This list are a list of 10 games that were really close, but ultimately didn't make the cut and why they didn't make it. Hopefully this will clear up some comments as to why certain games weren't on the list. Keep in mind that if you include all the games I've played and all the different iterations and platforms of those games, I've played over 1000 (over 700 unique) video games in my life, so narrowing that down to the top 1% isn't an easy task. That all being said, here are 10 games (in no particular order) that didn't quite make the cut.

 

The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

The best Legend of Zelda game, period. Nostalgia kind of helps me say that, but I still feel that Zelda was at it's best when it was a top-down game. Sure, adding the third dimension gave the world depth and made it much more accessible visually, but I can't help but feel that the games have also slowed down considerably since that transition. Zelda games used to have a much faster pace and really kept you on your toes. Plus, with two huge and very different worlds to explore, you never felt like there wasn't something to do, not to mention that there were dozens of secrets to find in the game world. Where this game ultimately fell down and doesn't make the list is probably an issue with the Zelda franchise in general, which is that after 25 years of Zelda, the formula has gotten kind of stale. That's probably not fair to knock down older games based on failures of later ones, but that's exactly what happens. A couple of bad movies can ruin a franchise, similar things can happen to games. If you asked me to build this list last year, this would've probably made the list, but time forever changes how you look at things.

Fallout

Fallout presented us with a bleak future, one in which the world as we know it has been horribly and irreversibly changed by nuclear war. The game had a deep story with a vast number of ways to play the game and required you to remember things that were said and be intelligent about how you approached situations in order succeed. This isn't a game where the most effective strategy is to shoot your way to victory, making friends with the right people or groups was critical. Ultimately, the reason this game couldn't crack the top ten is because of how many ways you could simply fail the game, leaving you in a situation where you couldn't complete it at all. I'm okay with being presented with a challenge, but having to repeat over 20 hours of gameplay because of one mistake is pretty brutal. Still a great game with a fantastic tactics-driven combat system.

  

Final Fantasy VI

This game comes really close to Final Fantasy IV whenever I'm asked what my favorite Final Fantasy game is, but never quite beats it. Which is shocking considering Final Fantasy VI had a story that truly invested you and presented you real thoughts that you might be in a battle you cannot win. No other Final Fantasy game before this raised the stakes to this level, and it was supported with challenging boss battles, an excellent antagonist, a great cast of characters, and a true WTF moment in the game's narrative. The reason it never quite eclipses IV, though, is that this is the first game in the series that basically took away each character's uniqueness. Most characters can use all the best weapons, any character can learn any magic or use any summon, and as a result, no matter who is in your team, you usually use the exact same strategy for how you fight. Also, the game does bog down a bit when you first get to the World of Ruin. Still a great game, just not on the top 10.

Super Metroid

I know I mentioned that Super Metroid basically laid the groundwork for Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, which probably makes it odd that this didn't make my list. Super Metroid took the concepts established in Metroid on the NES and added a map system, new abilities, and much larger areas. It presented a large world and did not hold your hand, you had to figure out where you needed to go on your own. The map system made that concept much easier than earlier games, but it still lead to several situations where you would revisit the same place multiple times until you found out the new area you could access with the most recent power you got. The game is still excellent, although it plods a lot more than Symphony of the Night did. I recommend playing this, however, if you are a fan of the more modern side-scrolling Castlevania's or games like them.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Blasphemy. I believe that's the word that popped into my wife's head when I listed my top ten. No Zelda? No Ocarina of Time? How many times have you beaten that game? The fact is, Ocarina of Time is a fantastic game. However, as I prefaced this post, trying to sift hundreds (and hundreds) of games into a top ten is not easy, and SOMETHING has to get left off. Ocarina of Time is a great game, but it's not even the best Zelda game, in my opinion, so it had no chance of making it to the actual Top Ten, but I'd easily say it was close. The first time that Link went into 3D to save Hyrule was Ocarina of Time, and the game gave a fantastic representation of the Zelda world. The visuals were great for their time and the story was actually quite well done. Ultimately, what holds this game back are some of the annoyances that really creep up on you when you've played the game multiple times. The biggest one is probably the Water Temple, but the Shadow Temple is up there as well. When I hit those two parts of the game, it just drags for me, because I don't want to be there. The rest of the game is fantastic, but that blemish stopped it from entering the top ten.

Banjo-Kazooie

Banjo-Kazooie took the platforming 3D that Super Mario 64 started and expanded on it greatly. The game took some of the things that frustrated people about Mario 64 and sought to fix them, while also creating a fun game world with an interesting story, entertaining characters, and some really creative level design. Banjo-Kazooie is a game that really stands out today, showing you don't need hyper-realistic graphics, fantastic CGI cutscenes, or even multiplayer to make a really fun game. I was ecstatic when this game got re-released through the Xbox Live marketplace, because when it comes to 3D platforming, it's hard to find a more enjoyable game than this. The reason it didn't make the list? 3D platformers are fun and all, but they don't rank high enough on my gaming list to get this into the top ten. Also, this game suffers from the same problem pretty much all 3D platformers do: the camera is actively trying to kill you.

Super Mario Bros. 3

Well, yeah. This game HAD to be close, because while I said that Super Mario World is the best 2D Platformer and the best Mario game, Super Mario 3 is just a hair beneath it. However, I didn't feel right having both Mario 3 and Mario World on my list when there were so many other great games that I felt belonged. I don't think I need to spend any real time here explaining why Mario 3 is so great, so I'll just say that if you've either forgotte
n or don't know how good it is, go and play it immediately.

Final Fantasy VII

I know, blasphemy to have this as my 3rd favorite Final Fantasy, but that's how I feel. Final Fantasy VII was a huge step forward from Final Fantasy VI, taking the idea of a more futuristic environment even further, adding guns, huge machinery, and evil corporations into the mix. Once again you had a very good antagonist in Sephiroth, and you had another WTF moment with one of the biggest video game character deaths ever. Final Fantasy VII makes a very strong case for itself, but ultimately it gets held back by a couple of different factors. One, the game goes even further down the path that Final Fantasy VI started, and characters as a result have no unique characteristics in battle besides their "Limit Breaks," which aren't very frequent, especially in the end game. Since characters can equip almost any armor and accessory, and weapons only control attack power and how many "materia" you can equip, all characters a built the same, generally. Also, while Sephiroth is good, he's not as good as either Kefka (FFVI) or Golbez (FFIV). Ultimately, as great as VII was, it just didn't quite measure up to it's predecessors.

Super Mario Land 3: Wario Land

Another game that my childhood nostalgia probably moves higher up than most people would expect. Wario Land was (and actually still is) probably my favorite Game Boy game. Considering the time when this came out, it was one of the largest games on the system, and also featured a multitude of secrets to find within the levels. Hell, there was an entire hidden world in this game! Plus you had levels that would be changed as you finished other levels, which was pretty unique at the time. You could shut down the water flow on a mountain, which would open up a hidden path in an earlier stage. That kind of creativity was really cool, and finding all the secrets when I was younger (well before the internet was available) really makes this game stand out. It also established Wario as a Nintendo franchise and led to several great games, including the WarioWare series and the Wario Land sequels, plus the fun 3D romp of Wario World on the Gamecube. Overall, a great game that ultimately didn't make the list because, as I said before, not every great game can make the list. I didn't have anything specific that held this one off, I just didn't rank it in my top 10. Hopefully they'll release this on the 3DS Virtual Console soon so that I can relive my nostalgia again.

Red Dead Redemption

Leaving this game off was tough, since I had it between this and Deus Ex Human Revolution. I have never played a game that captured an era quite like Red Dead Redemption captured the wild west (although L.A. Noire also shines at this.) This game learned a lot of really good lessons from Grand Theft Auto IV, the game the preceded it. This game presented you with a huge open western world complete with all the perils you'd expect. It also presented you with tons of side-missions, activities, and plenty of beautiful landscape to check out. The activities could range from playing poker, to capturing bounties, to collecting herbs, to skinning animals. The game had an incredibly engaging story with fun characters. Hell, the game even managed to include an expansion based around a Zombie apocalypse, which ended up being more fun than I would've ever expected. The game if phenomenal, and is probably Rockstar's best game (with Grand Theft Auto Vice City right there with it). I would recommend this game to anyone who likes the wild west, because you won't find anything that will immerse you in it's world quite like this.

Alright, that about covers everything, I think. I'm not going to do any more supplemental lists, but I think my next project will be to do the 10 worst games I've ever played. So, that should be something. Until next time!

-Justin

My Top 10 Video Games of All-Time (as of June 2012)

These lists are really hard to put together. Every time in my life I've tried to put together my top-10 video games, I always get hung up on order, and what criteria am I using, and I eventually just scrap the entire project. But for whatever reason, I decided to knuckle down, think really hard, and put together a list of my Top 10 Favorite Video Games, so here we go.

10 - WWF: No Mercy

No Mercy is often held as the holy symbol of wrestling games, and it's hard to argue. Simple controls, huge movesets, easy character creation, and tons of match types meant it was really easy to pull some controllers out and have an evening with friends doing nothing but playing this game. Honestly, I don't think that another wrestling game will ever have the same level of both enjoyment and acceptance (No Mercy was played by people who didn't like wrestling at all) as No Mercy did, but that's how the times change. It will always be great to remember weekends spent with friends playing this game.

9 - Deus Ex: Human Revolution

Deus Ex has not only an awesome aesthetic to it, it also is an incredibly gripping game that truly allows you to play to your own style. If you want to sneak in and out of places undetected, you can do it. You want to go in gun's blazing, there's an option for that. You want to talk your way into places you shouldn't be in, then hack their systems from within, also an option. Also, unlike many RPG games where you are penalized (usually through money and experience) for bypassing encounters, you are rewarded equally for any method you use to settle a conflict, as long as you succeed. The shooting mechanics and cover system are also very well implemented, making this a fantastic example of how good gaming has become. The only knock on this game is that the boss fights are considerably harder, but you are provided enough tools in each fight that you can win with a little bit of patience.

8 - Diablo II

This one will probably seem controversial, but it's hard to find another game that fits into this genre that is as good or fun as Diablo II. A game where the story isn't overly important, what makes this game fun is a combination of the random nature of the game, and the fun of playing with people online. Diablo II was one of the first games that I actively played online, and I absolutely loved it. Trading gear with people, forming teams to fight bosses, and just experiencing all the vastly different environments in the game all made this one a blast no matter how often you logged in.

7 - Half-Life 2

It's hard to argue that any one game truly changed an entire genre, but that's what Half-Life 2 did to first-person shooters. Despite not having a very relatable protagonist and not having much of a story, the mechanics, graphics, and different scenarios found in Half-Life 2 would forever change how companies look at shooters. Many will say that Halo started this transition, which would be accurate, but where Halo 2 continued the same path, Half-Life 2 presented you with an environment that was every bit as deadly as your guns were, physics based puzzles, and always rewarded you for your exploration and diligence. A great game that should be played by all shooter fans.

6 - Mass Effect 2

It's not easy to make a game that is completely accessible to both shooter fans and RPG fans, but Mass Effect is quite possibly a perfect blend of the two. The Mass Effect series is probably the only full-voiced game where every action you take has actual effects on the story. Not only that, but the acting and graphics are both stellar and will often pull in you as if you were watching a movie. The game's gunplay is also very competent and provides enough of a challenge to make you strategize. A game that is riveting from beginning to end.

5 - Final Fantasy IV

I have bought Final Fantasy IV five times. Super Nintendo, Playstation, Game Boy Advance, Nintendo DS, PSP. And no matter which version of the game it is, I absolutely love it. Final Fantasy IV (or II as it was released on the Super Nintendo) is Final Fantasy at it's best. Each character serves a purpose, as opposed to later games where each person could fill whatever role you wanted, and as a result you become more attached to the character, as their strengths and weaknesses in battle were often also reflected in their dialogue and how they handled situations. The game's story is pretty stock, but it is told incredibly well. This also marks the series first example of the trademark, "The final boss isn't actually mentioned until halfway through the third act" reveal. This became quite common in later games. Overall, this is truly the best Final Fantasy, followed close being by Final Fantasy VI.

4 - Super Mario World

I can't think of another game that nailed the platformer concept better than Super Mario World. This is a game that learned from everything it had done in the past to become a game that shines in every regard. Upbeat and fun music, challenging levels, multiple secret paths, challenging bosses, and a huge world to explore. Super Mario World also introduced several concepts that would later become Mario staples, such as the ghost houses, the sub-fortresses, and many different environments that returned in later games, most notably Super Mario 3D Land. This is Mario at his side-scrolling best, and shouldn't be missed by anyone!

3 - Fallout 3

When I learned that they were going to take Fallout and put it into a first person shooter, I was really skeptical. Fallout was a very deep game that relied on a tactical game engine to make sure you knew that every decision you made was important, even in combat. However, those fears were quickly alleviated once I popped Fallout 3 into my Xbox 360. This game captured Fallout's universe perfectly. You truly felt like you were wandering in a wasteland, and the whole world seemed hostile. It's tough to put a finger on the feeling you get the first time you emerge from the vault and the wasteland is spread out before you, but it is truly a wonderful feeling. I never once got bored or frustrated with this game, and never felt like I was being forced to take a specific path. The game world is completely open and you can play it any way you choose, which already separates it quite far from most other games. Additionally, the game nailed one of the trademarks of the Fallout series, the futuristic 1950's aesthetic, perfectly. Also, I don't know of any other game that gives you the power (see also: is evil enough to allow you) to detonate a nuclear bomb in the middle of a city and watch it from atop a tower.

2 - Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Remember how many times I mentioned I bought Final Fantasy IV? I've bought Castlevania: Symphony of the Night at least 4 times: Playstation (twice, broke it once), PSP, and Xbox 360. I had never played a game quite like Symphony of the Night before this, but I think the closes game was Super Metroid. However, Symphony of the Night is much more of an RPG than Super Metroid was, where you actually gained experience to level up your stats, as well as had a pool consisting of over 1000 different pieces of equip with which you can outfit yourself. Plus, despite all this, the game still very much felt like a Castlevania game, from the excellent soundtrack to the different enemies you face, to the difficulty found in fighting the bosses. The game is also full of secret areas and even has an alternate game mode that lets you play through with Richter Belmont, basically changing it into a classic Castlevania game, removing the RPG elements completely. This is a game that that should be played at least once by everyone, because this game basically invented an entire genre, and it's the reason why games like Shadow Complex, the DS Castlevania games, Outland, and Fez exist today.

1 - Chrono Trigger

I would hope by now that seeing this game on anyone's top ten list shouldn't be surprising. I mean, it is often looked at as the the greatest Role-Playing Game of all time. It harkens back to a simpler time, when games didn't need twenty different mechanics in order to be considered "deep enough." Chrono Trigger took a very different approach, even for it's time: it tried to tell a really good story. And it succeeded at doing just that. Chrono Trigger is a great coming-of-age tale that utilized time travel. There are twists, strong character development, and a huge world to play in. Also, this is one of the only RPGs I have ever played that didn't require you to spend time leveling up your characters in order for you to be strong enough to play. Even if you move through the game fighting only when you have to, the boss fights are all possible with the right amount of patience and strategy, and that's something you don't see very often today. For it's time, the graphics also were awesome looking, having lush environments and also was one of the only turn-based RPGs where you didn't enter a special "battle scene" during combat. You almost always could see your enemies on screen (as opposed to Final Fantasy or Dragon Quest's random encounters) and you fight right where you see them. Also, this is one of the few games that uses the battlefield in combat. Many characters have area-of-effect abilities that are best used if you enemies all cluster together. Also, this game allows your characters to team up and combine their powers to unleash whole new attacks, something that was very innovative in 1995. Overall, Chrono Trigger is a game that I have visited well over 50 times, from beginning to end. It's also another game that I've bought 4 different times, because it is by far my favorite game of all time. Also, it was the first RPG that I ever beat completely on my own (I was 11), which means its going to stick with you for a long time.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this little trip through a part of my brain. Got any views or opinions on this list? Leave 'em in the comments! I'd be happy to hear them.

-Justin

A Brief Monologue About Homosexuality

There are gay people in the world. I know that is absolutely shocking and unacceptable to many people, but it's true. Also, no matter how often you ban gay marriage, shun the homosexual community, or beat your children for being so much as curious about the same sex, gay people will continue to exist.

There's really only two ways to go about this, people. One option is we round up everyone who has ever even so much has THOUGHT about touching another person of the same sex in a sexual manner and throw them all into a large pit of fire. The other option is to make it legal, and if you don't agree with it, don't engage in it.

I honestly don't understand why certain people in America are so set on making gay marriage illegal. The only thing anyone has been able to present as a reason for why it should be illegal is that it will damage the sanctity of marriage. However, sanctity is completely derived from religion, and marriage by the state (government) has no bearing on whether or not you were married through a religious ceremony, so I fail to see that point.

Another point that people love to use is that "First we let gay people marry, then people are going to start wanted to marry horses next!" That is what we call as straw man argument. Feel free to look it up, but it has no bearing or relevance to this issue, it only seeks to draw attention away from the original point and instead get people to focus on something else, usually a point that is easier to defend against. You know how to make someone who uses that argument sound REALLY dumb? Ask them at which point you think it makes sense to give animals the legal authority to sign a marriage document, as well as grant them a social security number, power of attorney, and next-of-kin rights. Really, I think anyone who uses that argument sounds like a colossal dickbag, mainly because they're putting gay people right next to bestiality. NOT. THE. SAME. THING.

I am 100% in support of gay marriage. However, the issue that we also have right now is that gay marriage and women's rights are two of the biggest points that are being used in our next presidential election. I have an issue with this because it will completely detract from any of the actual plans that each candidate has. Look, if Mitt Romney comes out and says that one of the first things he will do is ban gay marriage forever, but he also lays out a plan to fix the economy that everyone universally agrees will work... that puts me in an awkward position. Honestly, I don't believe in sacrificing your morals, principals, and dignity for the sake of fixing a problem. You can't tell me that we have to lose our humanity and civility in exchange for a future, because that future will end up looking more blonde haired and blue eyed once we start down that path.

Again, gay people aren't going anywhere. Isn't it time that we stop the pointless bickering, allow two human beings to marry each other, and start focusing on REAL issues?

Aggressive Analysis - Battleship: The Movie: The Video Game (XBOX360)

Let's start off with the painfully obvious here. This is a video game, loosely based on a movie, loosely based on a board game, loosely based on strategic naval warfare. The premise is so loose that I'm surprised the words "BATTLESHIP" don't just fall right off the box art, leaving a blank, nondescript cover that would sum up the game quite nicely.

I've played movie-based games before, and they are rarely fun or enjoyable. Every once in a while you'll get a Spiderman 2 that tries to break the mold and actually be a good game, but for the most part, video games based on movies are so bad that you often find them buried at the bottom of a discount bin within the first month of it's release. There used to also be a standard during the last generation of games that movie based games would be cheaper, almost as if the publisher knew that it was a steaming turd just waiting to defile your console, but those days are long gone. Battleship: The Movie: The Video Game sells for the full priced $60. Wow.

Now, gaming is an expensive habit, so not only am I going to give this a traditional rating, allow me to introduce you to the patented Justin Heins Video Game Valuizer (can be abbreviated as JHVGV if you're an asshole.) How will this work? As we go through the review, starting at $0, I will give or take away value based on my gaming experience, which at the end will help us determine how much I would recommend you pay for a game such as this.

So, without further ado, let's get crackin'!

CONCEPT
When I say Battleship, you will probably either instinctively think of the board game, or of a large naval cruiser. I doubt you'll think of running around on an island with your gun, shooting up aliens, but that's what we have here. Yes, Battleship: The Movie: The Video Game is a FIRST-PERSON SHOOTER. If you ever doubted the people that say FPS games are over-saturating the market, I present to you this game.

The concept for this game is that you fight the ground war against an invading alien army while coordinating naval strikes against their ships and against targets on land. This is an incredibly simple and barebones concept that somehow is thoroughly ruined by a number of design flaws, a lack of combat variation, elimination of actual strategy, bugs in the game, and graphics that just scream "we gave no fucks."

GRAPHICS
Nostalgia is a great thing. When we think back to the video games we played as kids, there was a certain charm to everything. People have often said that the current gaming generation has created more sterilized games that try to hard to be realistic and no longer have the magical spirit that once used to make us grin from ear to ear. Even back to the last generation, with the PS2, Xbox and Gamecube, had such fun and charming games as Kingdom Hearts, the original Ratchet and Clank games, Oddworld: Stranger's Wrath, and any of the many 1st party Nintendo games. Now, you're probably wondering why I bring all this up here. You know the one thing about the previous console generation I didn't miss? The graphics.

This game looks like it could probably run on the regular Xbox. In fact, I'm pretty sure that Halo 2 looked better than this game. The grass textures on the ground are flat clumps of green lines that look like they were randomly stapled to the ground. Trees are practically one-dimensional. The actual textures on the rocks, grass, sand, water, and metal (because that's ALL THERE IS TO LOOK AT) look like they were created in MS Paint and slapped on haphazardly.

Despite the lameness of the textures and cutscenes that are mostly wireframe images and never include people, the game lags whenever you respawn, pull up a menu, and during cutscenes. I'd love to know how many memory leaks are in the game's code.

For the naval combat (we'll get to that), ships are fairly well designed, but even when you destroy an enemy ship, you don't actually see it get destroyed, you just get a bright flash of light and it's gone. I don't think they bothered to render damaged ship models, which is one of the laziest fucking things I've ever even thought of in my life.

Enemy design? The standard grunt enemy looks like Cobra Commander. I'm SO not joking. You spend most of the game shooting at Cobra Commander clones. Besides that, there is an orange-colored Cobra Commander clone, and a large beast of an enemy that tries to claw your face off. If you shoot the helmet off the larger enemy, it looks like a cross between the Skaarj and the Kilrathi from the Wing Commander MOVIE. Great, this game now made me think of Freddie Prinze Jr. and Matthew Lillard. Great. I'll be right back after I scrub my brain with a brillo pad.

So, how do we rate the graphics? Well, we need to compare it to other games in its price range, so we're going to go 2/10 on the graphics. The ONLY reason I don't give it a 1 is because there is no texture pop-in (unsurprising, since I'd bet there is only 1 layer of textures for any of the models.)

Value wise, I'm knocking off $5 due to unoriginality in design and general lack of effort.  So we're at -$5 now. Not a good sign.

SOUND
As I started to write this section I tried REALLY hard to think back and remember anything remotely interesting or memorable about the sound, and I just can't. There are the sounds of weapons firing, artillery, some occasional grunts from the Skaarjrathi enemies, but nothing else.

There are come occasional musical stings, mainly when you complete a major objective, when you finish a mission, or when you destroy an enemy ship, but they're all very short. I don't think any of the music lasts longer than 30 seconds, even during the CREDIT ROLL.

Voice acting is there, but the lines are all delivery so unenthusiastically that I had to look up online and verify that there weren't just people the studio held at gunpoint and forced to read into a microphone. The sound is just so... lifeless and empty. There might as well not be any sound at all.

I guess I'll rate the sound as 4/10, since it's not horrible, it just doesn't really DO anything. No effect on the value, so we're still at -$5.

STORY
Ah, yes. Let's dive headlong into the stupid, shall we? You play as EOD (Explosive Ordinance Disposal) Officer Mathis, and that's the extend of all the character development. Seriously, there are no other characters. The only other major roles in this story are the GODDAMN SHIPS. You will know the names of all your ships by the end of this because they NEVER STOP TALKING! They will talk to you even when you aren't fighting anything and all the enemy ships have been destroyed, just to let you know they're still there.

So, I said you're an EOD Officer, right? That means you are a military specialist who is there to either dispose or place explosives. That's what you do. However, in this game, for a reason that is never explained at all, you have to coordinate attacks, control the entire naval battle theater, and single-handidly fight off hundreds of enemies. Yes, despite being an EOD tech, you are also capable of dispensing death with several different weapons. Additionally, I guess the Navy just had enough of that stupid "rank" bullshit and just decided to let a fucking bomb tech run the show. You mean to tell me there is NO ONE ranked higher than you around? That can't be right, because you will fight alongside other soldiers occasionally, WHO ARE ALL RANKED OVER YOU.

So, the enemy just decided to show up one day and start shooting people, right in the middle of your training drill. It is your job to travel across all the islands, secure them, and destroy their mother ship. Trust me, it sounds way more exciting than it actually is.

To sum up, the story exists, but has no substance and is riddled with logic holes. I give it a 3/10, and will have to take away another $5 due to poor writing, total lack of character development, and the fact that I've been more engaged by the nutritional facts on a pouch of Kool-Aid than this story. -$10, Battleship. Things aren't looking too good here.

GAMEPLAY
This should really be called "Plant C-4: The Game." Each mission you will no less than 4 times have to plant C-4 on something. Each plant requires you to hold the X button down for about 3-5 seconds, then get away, and watch it blow up in a very unconvincing and boring manner. This actually makes sense, because it's your job, but why is there no mechanic involving this? Why can't I use my infinite supply of semtex to take out enemy troops? Why is disarming ALIEN BOMBS as easy as planting C-4 on a reactor? These are all questions that really take you out of the game, not that you wanted to be in there anyways, mind you.

We have weapon variety, though! You start with a pistol in most levels, but usually can find a Carbine (no brand names on anything, I guess to keep costs down), or a Shotgun, or you can pick up the alien grunt's KRAW weapons, which are basically chainguns. However, completely defying conventional logic, physics, and HOW FUCKING GUNS WORK IN GENERAL, the longer you fire the KRAW, the MORE accurate it becomes. At first we hypothesized it works differently and maybe uses a targeting computer. That was, until we noticed that it OVERHEATS, plus it shakes all over the place as you shoot, meaning that this is just a dumb way the game is trying to pretend its different.

The only other weapon in the game is a Rail Gun, which, is not a rail gun. It just isn't. In initial testing of rail guns the bullet traveled over 7 km and punched clean through a 1/8 inch steel plate. This is not a rail gun, it's a charge-shot sniper rifle which is laughably weak against most enemies (but kills you in 2 shots). Additionally, it suffers from what I call Star Wars Jedi Knight Disruptor Rifle Syndrome (catchy, huh?) where you can only charge shot if you are aiming down the sights. Also, in a funny bit of realization, I have to assume that the Navy in the region I'm in only outfits officers with rifles, shotguns and handguns and has no specialized or heavy ordinance in the area, but they have INFINITE C-4.

Enemies? There are 3 types of enemies, as said earlier. That's it. I don't count the naval ships, because you really don't fight them, you destroy them. They might as well be giant targets. The first enemy is by far the one you'll see the most, which is the Cobra Commander ripoff. Next most common are the Skaarjrathi mentioned earlier, followed by Orange Cobra Commander, who is a sniper equipped with the not-a-railgun gun.

The enemies are very unremarkable, however whoever programmed their artificial intelligence is sure to be a VERY remarkable person. First off, it seems that if the enemy decides they're going to change positions, they will move to the new position before firing, which is odd. It seems they have to hit their mark on the ground before they can start firing again. This is especially funny when you decide to move up on an enemies position at the same time as they move up on you, and you watch as they run past you to take cover and continue aiming where you were at, then process to NOT TURN AROUND as you gun them down 1-by-1 from behind them. I took down 15 enemies with a pistol hiding behind a rock, and they did not turn to face me once.

Enemies also do not at any time throw grenades at you, nor do they make any effort to evade grenades you throw at them. Also, the Cobra Commander enemies do not melee, they just keep shooting at you while you are STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM. You can literally whack them in the head with your pistol 4 times, and they will just resume shooting you.

Hit detection and ranged weapons are broken. Headshots only count when they feel like it, and I don't think it has anything to do with hitting them in the head. I think you have a critical hit chance, like a goddamn RPG, since I've shot someone in the leg with my Carbine, only to see their facemask explode. So either I shot them SO HARD in the knee that their head exploded, or area damage is borked. Ranged weapons become neigh useless from ANY range. Your carbine will take over 15 bullets to kill one of the Cobra Commanders if you try shooting at them from more than 10 feet away. Within 5 feet you can drop them in 3-5 bullets.

The game tries to keep you on your toes by having the enemy ships bombard the islands with one of two attacks. One attack is called a "rolling ball of alloy." Basically it's the magnet mines from Half-Life 2, and they explode if they touch you. You see two kinds of this enemy: one that the ships shoot at you and another that is planted in the ground like a mine, except those are blue and take 4x the damage to destroy them.

The other form of artillery the enemy uses? PEGS. Dead serious, they will fire fucking pegs at you, which will either emit electricity (which doesn't hurt you and only slows you down) or will explode, killing you if you are too close. It's almost like someone realized this game was nothing like Battleship and said, "Hey, what can we add to make this seem more like Battleship?" and Jim from accounting said "What if the alien ships fired pegs! Pegs are in Battleship!" And instead of taking him down to the boiler room and beating him until he stops twitching, they decided to put it in the game, because why the fuck not? Another fun part about the enemy artillery, they can shoot this crap at you even if you've destroyed all enemy ships on the map. Fun, huh?

Finally, we have the naval combat, which is predictably boring and awful. In order to take control of the naval fleet, you press LB which brings up a map of the area. Here you can select your ships and tell them to move around or to engage the enemy. Additionally, you can use "Wild Cards" which are dropped by the aliens you kill on foot to power up your ships with things such as radar, improved armor, or missiles. Finally, you can utilized "Gold Cards" to either repair your ships, revive destroyed ships, or ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL of a ship.

Taking control of a ship means you will aim at the enemy ship you are engaged with and proceed to mash RT, LT, and RB until it explodes. You do not maneuver, you do not fight multiple ships, you just destroy. This becomes even more hilariously overpowered once you get the Missouri (a battle cruiser) in the fourth mission, which can engage any enemy on the map from practically any position and destroy them in a single salvo. This mode only manages to break up the ground action, but isn't interesting or engaging enough to actually warrant real strategy. It's a sloppily implemented feature only there to pad out the game.

So, got all that? I award this game a 1/10 for gameplay for being boring, plodding, buggy experience. I also deduct $10 from the the value, bringing us down to -$20.

REPLAYABILITY
Let's cut to the chase, there is no multiplayer and no additional modes. The only reason to play this game again is for achievements or trophies, and the single player campaign is ONLY FOUR FUCKING HOURS LONG. I again remind you that this is a full-priced retail game. There is no reason to ever replay this again, 0/10.

Now, one of the ways I like to judge the value of a game is how much time I put into it. Generally, I will rate my value at $2/hour of gameplay if I'm having fun, $1/hour if it's okay, and $.50/hour if it is horrendous. Now to be honest, I did have some fun from this game just laughing at how horrible it is, so we'll split the difference and go $1/hour for 4 hours, so this game recaptures $4, bringing it up to... -$16. Huh.

CONCLUSION
To sum this all up, the game is the worst example of a value FPS game in the modern console era. I guess I shouldn't be surprised since this is from the same development company (Double Helix) that brought us GI Joe: Rise of Cobra and Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters, but this is just offensive. I give this game a 1/10, because it is a perfect example of how NOT to make a movie tie in game, or a first-person shooter, or hell, anything really.

The final value for this game? I feel that you should be PAID to play this game. Don't buy it even if it does end up in the $5 discount bin unless you feel you need to be reminded just how bad games can get.

That's all for this edition of Aggressive Analysis, until next time.

-Justin