Moving Along

I sincerely hope that when my lease is up next November, I vividly recall the events of the last few days and weight them heavily in any future moving decisions. I had to dig deep into my youth and recall the simple machines that we learned in 9th grade Physical Science, because without the goddamn wedge, I wouldn't have a couch.

Moving isn't so bad, so long as you are properly prepared. About 8 hours into the first day of the move, I realized that we were about as ill-prepared as you can get. The only way we could have been less prepared is if we would've decided to leave the state and expect our belongings to be in our new apartment upon our return. It took around 65 trips back and forth across the street, but everything is finally in the new place.

That is, of course, not to say that anything is IN place.

Haven't gotten to actually hook up my Xbox in the living room yet, but that choice is more a means of control than anything else. It'd be like setting a bottle of Captain Morgan's in front of a recovering alcoholic. I'd be quite likely to just give up and say "well, we now have corrugated end-tables" while playing Borderlands.

Regarding Borderlands, I must say that I have discovered newfound love for that game. My initial playthrough took me about 14 hours into the game. I hadn't even fought the first major enemy, Sledge, yet. I was level 17 and must have died somewhere upwards of 50 times. I became frustrated and abandoned the game back to the shelves of Blockbuster from whence it came. This time, I've picked (at Ryan's suggestion) a different class, the Berserker.

Yeah. MUCH better. It's quite satisfying that when things get too hard with all the bullets flying at your face, your response can actually be to punch holes in everything around you. At the same spot in the game I was previously, I had only died 3 times, and those legitimately felt like I may have outmatched myself.

Fantasy football is a-happening this year. No one is really running away with our league, although Ryan's recent theft of MY first place position will NOT go unnoticed or unpunished. Mark my words.

That pretty much covers it. I might post some new items sometime in the future. I hope that was vague enough of a precursor to what might or might not be my next update.

-Justin

The LeBron Situation

It never fails to amaze me how much influence sports can have on the world around us. I am a pretty big fan of the Detroit Lions (NFL), the Detroit Red Wings (NHL), and I have appreciation for the Detroit Tigers (MLB). I'm not really a basketball guy, however. I can appreciate a good game, team, or player, but I'm just not a huge fan of the sport.

Despite this, I would've had to be blind, deaf, and mildly MR in order to have missed the big summer story: Who will Lebron James play for? Something like this happened last year as well, regarding NFL quarterback Brett Favre and if he was going to stay retired or come play for the Minnesota Vikings.

Regarding the Brett Favre situation, he used to play for the Green Bay Packers, who would be considered just a bit of a rival of the Detroit Lions, so although I appreciated his talent, I was pretty happy to see him end up with the New York Jets in 2008. At least we wouldn't have to mess around with him for once. When he announced his retirement after a year with the Jets, and the Vikings then began to try and sign him... I must admit that the prospect of having Favre on the Vikings was exciting even to a fan of a rival team, because I knew it was a perfect fit.

I was able to extract myself from the situation completely and just look at the situation from the perspective of simple, irrefutable logic. To me, it made perfect sense that Favre would go to the Vikings. He would make a lot of money, it was a schematic he understood and helped to perfect in Green Bay in the late 90's/early 2000's, and they had a good running game, so he wouldn't have to sling the ball on every play. Turns out, my logic proved correct, and not only did he go, for all intents and purposes, the Vikings probably should have been Super Bowl champions that year. Go figure that it wasn't the fault of the now 40-year old Favre, it was the inability of superstar running back Adrian Peterson to seemingly be able to hold onto the ball for two plays consecutively. Seriously, 4 turnovers?

So looking at the LeBron James situation, I knew right out of the gate he wouldn't re-sign with Cleveland. It made no sense to me at all. That team had 7 years to build the team around him, and if they hadn't done it yet and hadn't made a single move for one of the major free agents this year, they weren't likely to change that anytime soon. So, I figured for sure, he'd be going to either Chicago or Miami. They both made sense to me, perhaps Miami a little more so. LeBron came into the league at the same time as Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosch, and all of them are NBA all-stars and Olympic gold medalists. Wade already has a ring from 2006 with the Heat, so when he wanted to try and get LeBron and Bosch with him, you know it wasn't for money, it was to win. That's something you really don't see much in sports today, people who will take less money for an opportunity to win. You see it a lot in the NHL, but not so much in the NFL, NBA, or in Baseball (mainly because there is no salary cap to speak of there).

Turns out, I was correct about him not resigning with Cleveland, and the city imploded. The owner of the Cavaliers sent out a letter that was petty and seemed to make little sense, the fans were burning LeBron jerseys in the streets, and you could almost hear the screams from out here in Fort Wayne. If I were them, however, I'd be more upset at the team then at LeBron for realizing that there was no hope for him in Cleveland. As a Lions fan, when Barry Sanders left, I was pretty upset with the organization, because they didn't do the best they could to build a team around him.

The answer to why they got mad at LeBron for leaving Cleveland? Simple. Cleveland sports fans are idiots. Simple enough. Just look at the Browns sometime.

-Justin

Firstly, I bring to you the Justin Heins 10 Commandments of Modern Warfare 2. Please note, that everyone will violate these Commandments on occasion, and I pray for those peoples souls. For those that continue to break them, however, I hope that horrible things happen to their person, both now and forever.

*ahem*

1. Thou shalt not play thine music at 12000 decibals and deafen thy teammates.
Seriously, guys. I don't give a rat's ass how much you love Slayer. Turn that shit down. My ears are bleeding.

2. Thou shalt not crouch in doorways.
If I get sniped one more time because Douchebag McGee won't move his sorry ass out of the doorway, I may commit genocidal acts against humanity. Just sayin'.

3. Thou shalt not leave thine system for an entire game of Search and Destroy.
Sad days are here when you watch your teammate spawn, then proceed to not move for the entire game, allowing himself to have all sorts of horrible acts performed on his body.

4. Thou shalt not whore the M203 grenade launcher.
Being killed 27 time by four people whose class consists of a grenade launcher attachment, a Thumper, Scavenger, and Danger Close makes me want to punch kittens. The game is Modern Warfare 2, not Spawn Asplode.

5. Thou shalt not disregard thy primary weapon.
If you find yourself spawning in Favela and then immediately grabbing your Spas on EVERY SINGLE SPAWN, news flash, you suck at Modern Warfare. Just because I'm not good enough to stop you, doesn't mean you are a "pro". Go suck eggs.

6. Thou shalt not throw care package markers on thy team's spawn.
If I respawn and get crushed by one more friendly care package, I will likely congratulate you, then proceed to sever your spine.

7. Thou shall be respectful of your teammates's awesomeness.
Complicated, but important. If you're waiting to respawn in Search and see your teammate kill 4 of the enemies and save the game, don't keep saying he sucks over and over again. You look like a jackass.

8. Thou shalt not continually engage enemies from the same spot more than five times.
Why so specific? Because it sucks to see the same guy go to the same window and get sniped by the same guy so many times that they call in a Helicopter Gunner.

9. Thou shalt not continually bash Modern Warfare 2 whilst thou is PLAYING Modern Warfare 2.
I know that there are some issues with the game, but if you hate it that much, shut off the system and snap the disc in half. Seriously. We won't miss you.

10. Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON DUDES!
That one should be in the Bible.

Ah, it was good to get that all out there. Picked up Final Fantasy XIII today for my PS3. Looking forward to firing it up, although it probably won't be until tomorrow. I have finished Mass Effect 2 and am now waiting for Christina to do the same, but correcting a couple of mistakes that I made through her playthrough. This game is good in ways that words cannot properly describe. It is really rare that a sequel fixes EVERY SINGLE discrepancy that existed with its predecessor.

Also, Christina's new PC arrived this past weekend... DEAR GOD. I self built my beast of a machine almost two years ago. This new Dell system cost me just as much, and it is no less than 2.5 times stronger than mine. It has a 4GB video card. 4GB. 4 MOTHER EFFING GIGABYTES. I didn't even know those EXISTED. I am angry, for I have been defeated by a Dell machine. No... not just defeated... UTERLY DESTROYED.

I believe that is all for now, have a pleasant day... and if you play Modern Warfare 2... don't be a sinner.

-Justin

Evolving

I was passed an interesting message this morning. Christina, shorty before I had to leave for work, informed that from now on, we have to put the toilet paper on the roll backwards (feeding from underneath), because APPARENTLY, the cat figured out that she can unroll the entire thing with minimal effort. Feline evolution is amazing.

Christina also drew up an interesting analogy. We have two floor mats in our kitchen, and if we so much as THINK about laying them flat and lining them up, the cat will follow behind us and proceed to assault them. We watch this in amazement every time, and Christina is now convinced that our cat is an agent of entropy, and agent of chaos. Sure seems to fit.

Our conclusion? Entropy is the entire universe breaking down, one kitten at a time.

Bias Free

The only thing worse than someone who is biased is someone who is "unbiased". This is proven true in many cases. Don't believe me? Try checking out IGN's forums sometime. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Okay, welcome back. It's angering enough when someone says "xbox360 sux and u should get ps3 cause its better u homo", but it's even more frustrating when the other person responds with "I own both a 360 and a PS3, so you need to grow up you fag." Really, guys? Really!? Nothing shows a higher level of maturity like one-upsmanship and a juvinille insult. Way to prove your point.

I can also vouch for this statement personally. This weekend I went into the Vikings/Saints game completely unbiased as to who I want to see go on to the Superbowl. By the end of the game, I ended up more pissed off than I have ever been at the hands of any Detroit Lions games. Christina, who is a Vikings fan, was on the couch watching the game while knitting a Vikings scarf. I don't know if one can knit angrily, but I'm pretty sure that if I would have touched her after the game, I'd be in the hospital having a needle surgically removed from my jugular.

So, Mass Effect 2 tomorrow. This disc swapping thing is interesting, since its been so long since I've last had to do anything like that. What is really interesting is their "outside the box" thinking in putting the first part of the game on the first disc, the main part of the game on the second disc, and the end of the game back on the first disc. Some people are complaining that they have to do two disc changes, but I am happy that I can play a majority of the game together on a single disc. But, I've played Final Fantasy games, so I'm really "unbiased" in this thought.

So I'm probably just a jackass in disguise.

Infamously Loving

While working for Ryan may seem like it’s a horrible thing, I can assure you there are options that are much worse.

So, it has been mentioned before that my fiancé and I recently obtained as small creature, a feline, from the SPCA. We had been talking for quite some time about getting a cat, since it was the most sensible pet for an apartment (and I don’t consider fish, birds, gerbils, hamsters, reptiles or insects as pets). We picked her up on a Saturday and she came pre-adorned with a name. That name was Daisy. A very generic name that really seemed to not be used so much as an identified moniker, but more of an ID number. We decided that we would wait a few days and then pick a name for her. On Tuesday, we chose the name Rikku, of Final Fantasy X fame.

Saving a kitten is a feeling that is like no other, you are providing a loving home to an animal that was deprived of one. It really makes you feel quite nice, like you just set one thing right in the universe. Christina and I both wanted a kitten that we could cuddle with, play with, and enjoy the company of. However, we were quick to discover that cuddling with a kitten can often be akin to cuddling with a cactus, because those claws are SHARP. At first, we ignored the blood-letting and continued on our chosen path, which seems a lot like Stockholm syndrome to me now. However, when Christina was woken up one morning by the cat attacking her nose, she pretty much called the game off.

We had the front claws removed, which made things much more enjoyable in the home again. But a strange transformation has seemed to come over her recently, where now she craves attention on a near constant basis, especially when only one of us is home. I returned home from class last night at around 9:00pm, so that I could “get my Infamous on,” and that cat was waiting for me. I began petting her, because normally, after around 15 minutes, she will get tired, move on and fall asleep somewhere. But with this recent change, no amount of love seems to be enough. It’s as if she is now a Bag of Holding, a vessel that you can put infinite amounts into, but it will never be full. This carried on all the way through into this morning, where she found it necessary to face wipe me every couple of minutes in an attempt to wake me up and provide more the never-enough love. It can be tiring.

Regarding Infamous, I must say that I still have mixed feelings about the game. I sometimes feel that the game is a child, like it isn’t sure what it wants to be when it grows up. At times, it is a furious “Run ‘n Gun” style game that keeps you fighting hordes of enemies with an ever-growing electric arsenal. Other times, it seems that you must scale the cities heights to collect various items. But most recently, it introduced platformer elements, where the slightest miscalculated jump will send you spiraling to you untimely demise. While each of those things is not bad in and of themselves, when all three combine, it can be a bit difficult to work with.

The story, however, is quite fantastic. I didn’t really need the story to be good to sell me on this game, however. Basically the second said I would have the power to hurl bolts of lightning at unsuspecting people, lighting them up like Christmas trees wherever I may roam, I was intrigued. But the story that I’m crafting, with me playing a dark and selfish fiend whose only ambition is revenge, is quite enjoyable. I look forward to the conclusion, which may come as soon as this weekend.