There's a title to chew on for awhile. Go ahead. Tastes kind of bitter, honestly. Needs some pepper.
Anyways, my wife and I have recently engaged in the ancient tradition of "spring cleaning." Since we recently found out we're going to be stuck in the apartment for at least a few more months, we've decided that wading through piles of miscellaneous papers, video game cases, magazines, and lost dishes was not the best way to maintain our sanity and motivation to exist. So, we decided to get rid of some stuff.
We've only done one room so far, our office, which previously was non-traversable. Even the cat would look into the room and you could almost hear her saying "fuck THAT noise," as she decided sleeping under the bed was a better idea than braving ground zero. However, in our efforts to make the room usable once more, we made an astonishing discovery: we have a lot of stuff.
We're not just talking about "oh, you bought a few things and don't have room for them" kind of stuff, I mean "what the hell is this and where did it come from" stuff. We literally found items that neither of us could recall having seen before. My immediate assumption was that some stranger had broken into our house and scattered miscellaneous shit all over the place, waiting for us to find it. Like some demented tooth fairy.
Well, in one room, which is maybe 80 square feet, we threw out 8 bags of stuff and a desk. A FUCKING DESK, which was taking up space in our OFFICE. How the shit does that even happen!? I really wish I had the forethought to take before and after pictures, but alas, I have no proof of the miraculous transformation that took place, so you'll have to take my word for it. We knew we had made good progress once we had found the floor.
Today we continue this journey into our bedroom closet, and I wonder what the Junk Fairy has decided to sprinkle around there. I guess we'll find out soon enough.
UPDATE: 4/19/2012
So, as it turns out, after two rooms, we've thrown out over 15 bags of trash, and donated around 8 to Salvation Army. Holy crap. At least we're at a good spot where if we can maintain, moving out of here should be much easier than it would have been.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Worst Company in America 2012 Winner
Finally, justice has been served! Every year we, as proud Americans, get together and let our voices be heard as we have selected who is truly the Worst Company in America. In the past, we've put some of the worst sorts of corporations on notice, that we Americans will not stand for this nonsense any longer, and they need to improve.
In 2006 we selected Halliburton, unquestionably an evil oil company led by such supervillians as Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney is one of the most heartless individuals out there, until recently that is.
In 2007, we chose the oft-despised RIAA, a company that recently tried to sue LimeWire for $75 trillion. That actually happened. The RIAA tried to sue a company that provides a free service for more than the GDP of the EARTH. Such douchebaggery shall not be tolerated on our watch!
2008 saw Countrywide Financial take the award, a company that decided that the best way to help people get into houses was screw them over in ways never before imagined. They were a major force behind the housing bubble crisis that is still plaguing many Americans today. They got their comeuppance, though, as they were purchased by Bank of America that same year.
AIG was tagged in 2009 for taking taxpayer money and essentially setting it on fire. They received over $170 billion in taxpayer bailout money from the government, then reported losses of $61.7 billion (record losses), then reported they were going to give out around $1.2 billion in bonuses. As it turns out, that made some people angry, and thus, the award was given.
In 2010, Comcast was plastered to the wall for basically being selective with customer's internet speeds, among other issues. Comcast is well known for treating their customers... let's just say poorly. To sum up, there's a reason why many Americans have turned the former catchphrase Comcastic into much more... appropriate term.
2011 had BP taking the illustrious reward for reasons that probably don't need to be explained. As it turns out, the rest of the world gets a little upset when a bunch of OIL ends up in the ocean. Go figure.
But that brings us to this year. Which company deserves the ire of our country the most? Looking at contenders, we had a couple of sure-fire finalists in Wal-Mart and Bank of America.
Wal-Mart is well known for it's sexism issues, poor wages, and poor customer service.
Meanwhile, Bank of America was busy doing such wonderful acts like illegally foreclosing on ACTIVE SERVICE MEMBER'S HOMES. That's just the tip of the iceberg, however, as Bank of America has introduced such practices as robo-signing to get foreclosures churned out faster and faster.
Wow, we've got a couple of Super Heavyweights ready to duke it out here! And I have the envelope here, folks! It looks like our winner is...
What. No. That can't be right. The votes must've had a margin of error issue or...
WHAT. 64-36 over Bank of America!? Are you fucking kidding me!?
Well, America. Seems we need to have a little chat. I don't think it's any secret at all why this happened. EA is the publisher for a major game that released this year, called Mass Effect 3. The game was the conclusion of a trilogy that was supposed to provide an ending to the story of the main character, Commander Shepherd. People weren't pleased with the ending.
Okay, I get that you're upset about the ending, and I get that the Consumerist Worst Company in America award is voted by people online. But some companies actually do take the award seriously. Comcast actually has been reported by people to have cleaned up their act a lot in the last couple of years, for example. BP really tried to clean up their image and fund some charitable organizations after the mess. But we really are saying that EA is worse than Bank of America or Wal-Mart? Perspective is a wonderful tool, and right now I think the issue is we had too many tools and not enough perspective voting for this award.
Actually, I'm going to briefly address the fan backlash on the ending to Mass Effect 3. I really don't get it. It's not from lack of trying, however. The Mass Effect franchise has probably been near my favorite game franchise from the last decade. I loved the story, I loved the character interactions, and I loved how each game clearly took large strides forward in every department. However, the amount of rage generated by the final 10 minutes of a 40+ hour game is quite insane, really. People weren't this upset by the ending to the Sopranos.
I'm not getting into spoilers here, but I will say that people who have portrayed EA and BioWare as this EVIL EMPIRE that has RUINED GAMES FOR EVERYONE really have lost their perspective. Look, you make it sound like the ending was bad and now the company is laughing at you for being invested, when their actions show just the opposite. They are giving you FREE DLC. FREE. F-R-E-E. They're doing it because everyone was upset and complained. They are going back into studio to do it. They've also announce they are giving you free Multiplayer DLC. I can probably count the number of full-retail games that gave free Multiplayer DLC on one hand or less. Yet, some people are still livid. Guys, get over it. They're doing the best they can given the situation, but ultimately the ending they wrote is the ending they wrote. It is their IP, they can do what they want with it. No, we don't have to be happy about it, and they such seem to be doing their best to address the outcry, but the level of enragement that is present is atrocious.
The fact is, while I can understand the frustration and anger to a certain extent, it really has gone overboard when this is causing people to say that EA is worse than a company that, I remind you, ILLEGALLY FORECLOSED ON ACTIVE SERVICE MEMBER'S HOMES. America, we have a voice that has some real power. Maybe we should try and use that power for good instead of for... whatever the hell this is. Oh well, I guess that means that Bank of America will just have to try harder next year. Yay.
In 2006 we selected Halliburton, unquestionably an evil oil company led by such supervillians as Dick Cheney. Dick Cheney is one of the most heartless individuals out there, until recently that is.
In 2007, we chose the oft-despised RIAA, a company that recently tried to sue LimeWire for $75 trillion. That actually happened. The RIAA tried to sue a company that provides a free service for more than the GDP of the EARTH. Such douchebaggery shall not be tolerated on our watch!
2008 saw Countrywide Financial take the award, a company that decided that the best way to help people get into houses was screw them over in ways never before imagined. They were a major force behind the housing bubble crisis that is still plaguing many Americans today. They got their comeuppance, though, as they were purchased by Bank of America that same year.
AIG was tagged in 2009 for taking taxpayer money and essentially setting it on fire. They received over $170 billion in taxpayer bailout money from the government, then reported losses of $61.7 billion (record losses), then reported they were going to give out around $1.2 billion in bonuses. As it turns out, that made some people angry, and thus, the award was given.
In 2010, Comcast was plastered to the wall for basically being selective with customer's internet speeds, among other issues. Comcast is well known for treating their customers... let's just say poorly. To sum up, there's a reason why many Americans have turned the former catchphrase Comcastic into much more... appropriate term.
2011 had BP taking the illustrious reward for reasons that probably don't need to be explained. As it turns out, the rest of the world gets a little upset when a bunch of OIL ends up in the ocean. Go figure.
But that brings us to this year. Which company deserves the ire of our country the most? Looking at contenders, we had a couple of sure-fire finalists in Wal-Mart and Bank of America.
Wal-Mart is well known for it's sexism issues, poor wages, and poor customer service.
Meanwhile, Bank of America was busy doing such wonderful acts like illegally foreclosing on ACTIVE SERVICE MEMBER'S HOMES. That's just the tip of the iceberg, however, as Bank of America has introduced such practices as robo-signing to get foreclosures churned out faster and faster.
Wow, we've got a couple of Super Heavyweights ready to duke it out here! And I have the envelope here, folks! It looks like our winner is...
What. No. That can't be right. The votes must've had a margin of error issue or...
WHAT. 64-36 over Bank of America!? Are you fucking kidding me!?
Well, America. Seems we need to have a little chat. I don't think it's any secret at all why this happened. EA is the publisher for a major game that released this year, called Mass Effect 3. The game was the conclusion of a trilogy that was supposed to provide an ending to the story of the main character, Commander Shepherd. People weren't pleased with the ending.
Okay, I get that you're upset about the ending, and I get that the Consumerist Worst Company in America award is voted by people online. But some companies actually do take the award seriously. Comcast actually has been reported by people to have cleaned up their act a lot in the last couple of years, for example. BP really tried to clean up their image and fund some charitable organizations after the mess. But we really are saying that EA is worse than Bank of America or Wal-Mart? Perspective is a wonderful tool, and right now I think the issue is we had too many tools and not enough perspective voting for this award.
Actually, I'm going to briefly address the fan backlash on the ending to Mass Effect 3. I really don't get it. It's not from lack of trying, however. The Mass Effect franchise has probably been near my favorite game franchise from the last decade. I loved the story, I loved the character interactions, and I loved how each game clearly took large strides forward in every department. However, the amount of rage generated by the final 10 minutes of a 40+ hour game is quite insane, really. People weren't this upset by the ending to the Sopranos.
I'm not getting into spoilers here, but I will say that people who have portrayed EA and BioWare as this EVIL EMPIRE that has RUINED GAMES FOR EVERYONE really have lost their perspective. Look, you make it sound like the ending was bad and now the company is laughing at you for being invested, when their actions show just the opposite. They are giving you FREE DLC. FREE. F-R-E-E. They're doing it because everyone was upset and complained. They are going back into studio to do it. They've also announce they are giving you free Multiplayer DLC. I can probably count the number of full-retail games that gave free Multiplayer DLC on one hand or less. Yet, some people are still livid. Guys, get over it. They're doing the best they can given the situation, but ultimately the ending they wrote is the ending they wrote. It is their IP, they can do what they want with it. No, we don't have to be happy about it, and they such seem to be doing their best to address the outcry, but the level of enragement that is present is atrocious.
The fact is, while I can understand the frustration and anger to a certain extent, it really has gone overboard when this is causing people to say that EA is worse than a company that, I remind you, ILLEGALLY FORECLOSED ON ACTIVE SERVICE MEMBER'S HOMES. America, we have a voice that has some real power. Maybe we should try and use that power for good instead of for... whatever the hell this is. Oh well, I guess that means that Bank of America will just have to try harder next year. Yay.
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