-Justin
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
DuckTales, Woo-Hoo!
So this week on the channel features more of the standard Let's Plays I've been doing up to this point, but we do have a special Versus game of Super Smash Bros Brawl mixed in for fun. I also up up Day 16, Day 17 and Day 18 of Recettear for your viewing pleasure. In addition to this, I decided to make my next one-off video Ducktales on the NES. If you're wondering why, maybe you should check this out. Needless to say, I'm excited!
-Justin
-Justin
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Aggressive Analysis - Episode 1 Is Out!
I'm excited to announce the first ever episode of Aggressive Analysis! In this episode we're taking a look at a recent announcement by Square Enix and breaking down the major problems with it. The channel has also been updated since last week with videos for Day 14 and Day 15 of Recettear: An Item Shop's Tale, an update on the current State of the Channel, and a Let's Play of Joe & Mac on the NES. Check 'em!
So, below is the inaugural episode of Aggressive Analysis! Feedback is always appreciated and I hope you enjoy!
-Justin
So, below is the inaugural episode of Aggressive Analysis! Feedback is always appreciated and I hope you enjoy!
-Justin
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
YouTubes update!
I wasn't posting these to my blog, mainly because I am an idiot. So, to correct that, I will now post the videos I've been putting on YouTube here. I've been in the middle of a Let's Play series for a game called Recettear: An Item Shop's tale, for about 4 weeks now. The game is about a girl of unspecified age and her fairy friend trying to run a good-old-fashioned item shop to pay off some crippling bank debt. And you literally are selling loot that gets collected in the dungeons, which you also have the option to explore. The game is a fun combination of sim and hack-and-slash, which bears some similarities to the Rune Factory series. My point is the game is solid and I hope you'll join me as I continue to play it.
I have new videos up every weekday on my channel, which you can find here: http://www.youtube.com/dcenygma
So, here's the most recent video:
I have new videos up every weekday on my channel, which you can find here: http://www.youtube.com/dcenygma
So, here's the most recent video:
And you can find the rest of this Let's Play on this playlist: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaelxMx37ZE9wcr4M9gC7CUsG0JUUfTu9
Thanks for watching and I look forward to your feedback and thoughts!
-Justin
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Thoughts on the PS4 Announcement
So, yesterday we took the first steps into our next generation of gaming platforms. I watched the entire 2+ hour event, live streamed by Sony. First off, I must say that my inability to watch the presentation any higher than 480p was a bit of a disappointment, but with 500000+ people watching the same livestream, that's not entirely unexpected. Man, if only there was a television network that was focused on digital entertainment that could have provided me with this content in high-definition over my satellite dish. On an unrelated note, screw you, Esquire.
Overall, I must admit that I'm a bit underwhelmed. Sony absolutely did not bring their A-game to this conference, and we saw nothing that really sold the system as being a necessity. Let's start with the hardware and first list what we know about it.
Hardware
I do think it's adorable how Sony still thinks the Move is a system seller, since they dedicated part of their presentation to a game that looks likely to have the same level of appear that the uDraw did. The fact that the new DualShock controller also can interact with the Move sensor means it will basically be the Sixaxis2, which nobody asked for. Expect every launch title to try and force it into their game in some way.
However, on a more positive note, I do like the social features they are including. First of all, allowing for a headset to be plugged into the controller is good, even if they should have done this with the PS3 instead of dealing exclusively with Bluetooth. Second, the ability to instantly share things to Twitter and Facebook is pretty cool, since it allows you to actually show off some of the cool things you see in your games with other people. That's a really smart move by Sony, because your friends that might not have PS4s will see your posts and might become interested in the system (or, alternatively, they'll just block your posts because you're flooding their feed by hitting the Share button on everything like a cocaine-fueled chimpanzee.)
Related to this, I think the livestream options offer a lot of possibilities. If they're smart, they will allow you to get the raw footage from your stream in case you want to edit it or use it as part of a review and/or compilation. That feature would actually really get some of the current generation of gamers who are big fans of being able to put together game footage without buying a lot of expensive tools. Additionally, the idea of being able to invite your far-off friends to your stream, and then be able to essentially "pass" them your controller while playing is as close as we're gonna get to being able to simulate sitting next to them on a couch without the aid of holograms.
Last items on hardware: I really like that Sony is embracing what has been a very important part of the PC gaming experience for a while now with allowing you to play the games as you are downloading them, because nothing is worse than waiting for a 7GB download to finish up so you can play a newly released game. Finally, the lack of backwards compatibility needs to be addressed. Look, your system is running with the Blu-Ray drive again, there isn't really a reason for removing PS3 support, and in fact will hurt your console if Microsoft announces backwards compatibility with 360 games. The biggest issue Sony faces is the lack of support for anything purchased on the PSN. Telling everyone to buy the same digital content they already purchased on the last system will be a hard pill to swallow, just ask any Nintendo fan about that.
That's the hardware, so let's talk about the non-game related software we saw.
Non-Game Software
As far as the Move... thing we saw? It comes across as offensive to 3D modellers and designers who have already been able to create much more interesting things that that demo offered up. It doesn't look interesting, the "animated" characters looked lifeless and boring, and might I mention that no one really seems to care about the Move? Basically, this looks like it will let you play with lincoln logs and marionettes with Move controllers. Woo hoo.
Alright, now into the meat and potatoes of what we saw, the games.
Games
The Witness looked really impressive and I have been wanting someone to go back and visit the style of games we used to see in Myst, 7th Guest, and Zork: Grand Inquisitor. I am a huge fan of puzzle games and with the developers from Braid working on this I'm excited to see what The Witness ends up like when it's finished. However, that all said, this is by no means a system seller. It certainly can't be a $60 game and doesn't really show off the power of the system in any way. It's cool, but feels a bit misplaced being shown here.
Deep Down and the new graphics engine Capcom showed off were really damn impressive looking, so I'd be interested to see where this goes. I'm all for medieval combat, and since I've yet to see anyone get dragon-fighting to work well, I'd be very interested in what they bring to the table with the finished product.
Blizzard brings Diablo to the consoles for the first time since the original game was released on the PS1. Unfortunately, they made this announcement long after people stopped caring about Diablo III, to the point that people often point and it and laugh at it while they play games like Path of Exile and Torchlight II. I do dig the 4-player local co-op option though, so it might not be a totally lost cause. However, this better not be a full priced $60 game.
Square-Enix was so prepared for this conference that they showed off a 5-month old tech demo for an already announced graphics engine and then followed that up by announcing an announcement. Seriously. God, I remember when I gave a shit about this company.
The biggest and best parts of the conference followed all that, with Ubisoft and Bungie. Ubisoft showed off more gameplay for Watch_Dogs, which continues to look both interesting and innovative. Bungie then showed some more footage of Destiny and also talked up how PlayStation people would get some extra content exclusive to their platform. However, while these two companies had the best showing, they also highlight the biggest issues of this conference: we still ultimately were given zero reason to buy a PS4.
Now look, I'm not just trying to be a facetious troll here, but let's look at the real facts. PS4 isn't bringing anything truly groundbreaking to the table in their hardware. This is a fairly powerful PC, at best. When the PS3 was announced, it was the best (and cheapest) way to get a Blu-Ray player, which presented new entertainment possibilities to households. When the PS2 was announced, it was the first time graphics of that magnitude had been seen in the living room. What they've shown off has not been graphically leaps and bounds ahead of anything we've seen. PC gaming's return to form over the last 3 years has shown off graphics and performance that really take the piss out of what the PS4 showed off here. The announced social features already exist through peripherals that will be much cheaper than buying a PS4. The remote play feature already exists on the WiiU, except you have to buy an additional $300 paperweight called the Vita to do it.
Software-wise, there is literally nothing. There is no PS4 "killer-app", no big exclusives, not even a game based on any new concepts. They literally have given no reason at all to buy the system at launch. The two biggest games that were announced are multi-platform and in no way was any effort made to show off any "PS4" difference that might exist. Really, Sony came across here as an uncomfortable teenager having his first sexual experience. The conference was awkward, unimpressive, and seemed a bit premature.
I will hope that by E3 things will be a bit more fleshed out and Sony will bring some better incentives to present, but for right now I don't have a whole lot of optimism in what they're trying to do. This places the ball firmly in Microsoft's court. The big question now is what is the Xbox going to bring to the table to try and trump the PS4? I guess we'll wait and see.
Overall, I must admit that I'm a bit underwhelmed. Sony absolutely did not bring their A-game to this conference, and we saw nothing that really sold the system as being a necessity. Let's start with the hardware and first list what we know about it.
Hardware
- 8 GB Dedicated Memory
- High Range (assume 1GB+ DDR5) GPU
- AMD-based 8-Core(!) X86 Processor
- Large HDD (Hopefully 1TB, no definate size announced)
- DualShock 4 Controller includes Move functionality, has a Vita-esque touchpad on the front of the controller, and includes a headphone port.
- System allows instant sharing of video and screenshots through at least Facebook and Twitter and live streaming of game content through uStream. No announcements if they would be premium features or have any cost.
- Remote play allows you to use a Vita in the same manner as a WiiU GamePad, playing any PS4 game on the Vita. Not specified, but since it operates the same as the WiiU with the console acting as a server and the handheld acting as a client, the maximum range for this feature is likely to keep it isolated to the same room as the console.
- If people (such as friends) are watching you play over livestream, you have the option to actually allow them to take control of the game and attempt to play through a part.
- Move will be supported.
- You will be able to play games while they are downloading, much like Steam or many of the MMOs with dedicated launchers do on PC.
- No backwards compatibility.
I do think it's adorable how Sony still thinks the Move is a system seller, since they dedicated part of their presentation to a game that looks likely to have the same level of appear that the uDraw did. The fact that the new DualShock controller also can interact with the Move sensor means it will basically be the Sixaxis2, which nobody asked for. Expect every launch title to try and force it into their game in some way.
However, on a more positive note, I do like the social features they are including. First of all, allowing for a headset to be plugged into the controller is good, even if they should have done this with the PS3 instead of dealing exclusively with Bluetooth. Second, the ability to instantly share things to Twitter and Facebook is pretty cool, since it allows you to actually show off some of the cool things you see in your games with other people. That's a really smart move by Sony, because your friends that might not have PS4s will see your posts and might become interested in the system (or, alternatively, they'll just block your posts because you're flooding their feed by hitting the Share button on everything like a cocaine-fueled chimpanzee.)
Related to this, I think the livestream options offer a lot of possibilities. If they're smart, they will allow you to get the raw footage from your stream in case you want to edit it or use it as part of a review and/or compilation. That feature would actually really get some of the current generation of gamers who are big fans of being able to put together game footage without buying a lot of expensive tools. Additionally, the idea of being able to invite your far-off friends to your stream, and then be able to essentially "pass" them your controller while playing is as close as we're gonna get to being able to simulate sitting next to them on a couch without the aid of holograms.
Last items on hardware: I really like that Sony is embracing what has been a very important part of the PC gaming experience for a while now with allowing you to play the games as you are downloading them, because nothing is worse than waiting for a 7GB download to finish up so you can play a newly released game. Finally, the lack of backwards compatibility needs to be addressed. Look, your system is running with the Blu-Ray drive again, there isn't really a reason for removing PS3 support, and in fact will hurt your console if Microsoft announces backwards compatibility with 360 games. The biggest issue Sony faces is the lack of support for anything purchased on the PSN. Telling everyone to buy the same digital content they already purchased on the last system will be a hard pill to swallow, just ask any Nintendo fan about that.
That's the hardware, so let's talk about the non-game related software we saw.
Non-Game Software
- Some Move-based 3D sculplting and animation BS.
- Streaming of PS1, PS2, and PS3 back-catalogues
- Ability to demo full versions of any title at any time
As far as the Move... thing we saw? It comes across as offensive to 3D modellers and designers who have already been able to create much more interesting things that that demo offered up. It doesn't look interesting, the "animated" characters looked lifeless and boring, and might I mention that no one really seems to care about the Move? Basically, this looks like it will let you play with lincoln logs and marionettes with Move controllers. Woo hoo.
Alright, now into the meat and potatoes of what we saw, the games.
Games
- Knack, a 3D Adventure game from one of the lead designers behind Ratchet & Clank, Jak & Daxter, and Crash Bandicoot
- Killzone: Shadow Fall, a generic-looking FPS
- Driveclub, a Forza/Gran Turismo-esque game with a nice coat of paint
- Infamous: Second Son, which we know nothing about other than it exists since all we got was a 20-second teaser trailer with no game footage
- The Witness, a game by Johnathon Blow, which appears to be a very stylized Myst-esque game.
- Deep Down, a game made by Capcom on their new Pantha Rhei engine, looks like a very, very pretty 3rd Person Adventure game.
- Blizzard announced Diablo III will be coming to both PS3 and PS4, with local multiplayer and controller-based gameplay (duh).
- Square-Enix again showed off their new graphics engine using the same trailer from months ago, and announced that they would announce a new Final Fantasy game at E3.
- Ubisoft showed off more Watch_Dogs, which continues to look amazing. They announced it will release simultaneously on PS3 and PS4.
- Bungie and Activision showed off more footage of Destiny, and also said it would simultaneously release on PS3 and PS4. They also said PlayStation would get some unspecified exclusive features.
The Witness looked really impressive and I have been wanting someone to go back and visit the style of games we used to see in Myst, 7th Guest, and Zork: Grand Inquisitor. I am a huge fan of puzzle games and with the developers from Braid working on this I'm excited to see what The Witness ends up like when it's finished. However, that all said, this is by no means a system seller. It certainly can't be a $60 game and doesn't really show off the power of the system in any way. It's cool, but feels a bit misplaced being shown here.
Deep Down and the new graphics engine Capcom showed off were really damn impressive looking, so I'd be interested to see where this goes. I'm all for medieval combat, and since I've yet to see anyone get dragon-fighting to work well, I'd be very interested in what they bring to the table with the finished product.
Blizzard brings Diablo to the consoles for the first time since the original game was released on the PS1. Unfortunately, they made this announcement long after people stopped caring about Diablo III, to the point that people often point and it and laugh at it while they play games like Path of Exile and Torchlight II. I do dig the 4-player local co-op option though, so it might not be a totally lost cause. However, this better not be a full priced $60 game.
Square-Enix was so prepared for this conference that they showed off a 5-month old tech demo for an already announced graphics engine and then followed that up by announcing an announcement. Seriously. God, I remember when I gave a shit about this company.
The biggest and best parts of the conference followed all that, with Ubisoft and Bungie. Ubisoft showed off more gameplay for Watch_Dogs, which continues to look both interesting and innovative. Bungie then showed some more footage of Destiny and also talked up how PlayStation people would get some extra content exclusive to their platform. However, while these two companies had the best showing, they also highlight the biggest issues of this conference: we still ultimately were given zero reason to buy a PS4.
Now look, I'm not just trying to be a facetious troll here, but let's look at the real facts. PS4 isn't bringing anything truly groundbreaking to the table in their hardware. This is a fairly powerful PC, at best. When the PS3 was announced, it was the best (and cheapest) way to get a Blu-Ray player, which presented new entertainment possibilities to households. When the PS2 was announced, it was the first time graphics of that magnitude had been seen in the living room. What they've shown off has not been graphically leaps and bounds ahead of anything we've seen. PC gaming's return to form over the last 3 years has shown off graphics and performance that really take the piss out of what the PS4 showed off here. The announced social features already exist through peripherals that will be much cheaper than buying a PS4. The remote play feature already exists on the WiiU, except you have to buy an additional $300 paperweight called the Vita to do it.
Software-wise, there is literally nothing. There is no PS4 "killer-app", no big exclusives, not even a game based on any new concepts. They literally have given no reason at all to buy the system at launch. The two biggest games that were announced are multi-platform and in no way was any effort made to show off any "PS4" difference that might exist. Really, Sony came across here as an uncomfortable teenager having his first sexual experience. The conference was awkward, unimpressive, and seemed a bit premature.
I will hope that by E3 things will be a bit more fleshed out and Sony will bring some better incentives to present, but for right now I don't have a whole lot of optimism in what they're trying to do. This places the ball firmly in Microsoft's court. The big question now is what is the Xbox going to bring to the table to try and trump the PS4? I guess we'll wait and see.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Aliens: Colonial Marines Patch Notes
Patch Notes for Aliens: Colonial Marines (as of February 12th,
2013)
And if you think THAT's stupid, try reading the real list: http://support.gearboxsoftware.com/entries/23137581-Xbox-360-Update-Information
- Bullets now originate from guns, instead of marine’s feet.
- Remapped the “Cartwheel” command from RT to Y.
- Saving the game no longer deletes your hard drive from existence, leaving behind a small-singularity that will eventually devour the planet.
- Changed the end of game state screen in multiplayer to show kills, deaths, assists, rebounds, and 3-point attempts.
- Kicking a Xeno in the shin no longer does the same damage as a grenade.
- Flamethrowers now emit fire instead of bullets.
- Motion trackers now track motion, instead of safety cones.
- Playing in splitscreen no longer causes Xenos to perform a square dance prior to attacking.
- “Cloaking” in multiplayer no longer involves draping an old piece of fabric over your body.
- Doors no longer explode when opening them.
- Targeting reticule no longer detaches from the HUD and runs away during the second campaign mission.
- Marines now have only two arms.
- Melee range reduced from 17.2 feet to 1.2 inches.
- NPC characters no longer can be instructed to do the Macarena, unless they are below 25% health.
- Xenos no longer spawn wearing top hats and monocles.
- Attempting to melee against a Xeno no longer causes your elbow to become permanently fused to the Xeno’s head. You will now separate after a few minutes.
- The menu screen is no longer displayed in Latin.
- Fixed the bug that caused the campaign to be only 6 hours, booting up the game now causes a giant hammer to appear which strikes the player in the groin 6 times.
Friday, December 28, 2012
Spelunky - A Journal
Day 1
Adventure! I have arrived at the entrance to a mine deep underground. There are ancient statues and carvings all over the walls by the entrance. Surely this is the find that I've been looking for! I've been adventuring in ancient caverns and ruins for my entire life and have never found anything like this! I can't wait to find out what's inside...
Day 2
Well that is odd. I find myself standing outside the entrance to the caves, and yet I was sure that I had just explored the mines yesterday. In fact, I seem to recall falling a great distance and (quite painfully) landing on some large spikes. Perhaps that was a dream? Ah, no matter! Onward! Adventure!
Day 3
Despite the fact I can still remember the searing pain as the acidic spittle from that cobra dissolved my skin into dust, I am again at the entrance to the caves. I feel there is some dark power at work here. I must find a way to stop it.
Day 4
I managed to uncover plenty of valuable gems and gold within the caves, and then happened upon a shopkeeper! He was selling all sorts of interesting gadgets, but most fascinating was the jetpack! I purchased it and began testing it out. Then I fell down a mineshaft, broke both my legs, and was devoured, bit by bit, by spiders. Adventure.
Day 12
I find myself inching ever closer to what appears to be a lush jungle, but each time I think I will escape these wretched mines, I find myself being offed in a variety of manners. It really is becoming quite unnerving to experience so many different levels of pain. However, I feel this adventure is just getting started. Onward!
Day 13
I made it into the jungle, and had all of ten seconds to take everything in before I was slowly devoured by a man-eating plant. I swear I can still feel its teeth boring into my flesh. I also met an odd man who seems to be trapped in the same loop as I am. He offered to dig a tunnel back to the main entrance, allowing me to bypass the mines. I gave him what he asked for, so hopefully that will pan out.
Day 16
While trying to bomb out a path I accidentally threw the explosive into the shop. The man proceeded to blast me repeatedly with a shotgun. I am considering taking up drinking at this point.
Day 22
Met the man in the tunnels again as I had made it through the mines. I again provided him the supplies he requested with the hopes I can stop having to visit these forsaken mines. I made it quite a bit further into the jungles this time, until I was stung to death repeatedly by giant bees. I'm allergic. I expanded to the size of a balloon and felt immense pain in every part of my body before I finally submitted to the sweet, sweet embrace of eternal slumber. I think I'll enlist in the Army after this journey. No one will ever be able to torture information out of me.
Day 31
Goddamned spiders.
Day 39
Aha! The man in the tunnels has completed his work and I now have access to the jungles directly! I may find my way out of here yet! I'm back here now because my flesh was rended from my bones by giant piranha. I'm still not sure all of it's here. Also, based on the number of empty beer bottles lying around the entrance, I am concerned that I'm becoming an alcoholic.
Day 42
I found the entrance to a series of frozen caves just past the jungle today. Again I found the tunnel man, who offered to make yet another shortcut. I provided the supplies and journeyed forth. I then fell into an endless chasm until I died from the G-Force trauma. This sort of thing was NOT covered by any of the archeology or safety classes I've taken. Additionally, I doubt my insurance will cover it.
Day 59
Jumped onto spikes for the hell of it. I guess I'm getting used to the pain. Or the alcohol is helping. Haven't made it to the ice caves again in weeks. I hate this place.
Day 70
Made it to the ice caves again, and found an amazing discovery! Extraterrestrial life! Yes, aliens! I witnessed their presence as they vaporized me with a flying saucer. Every molecule of my body became searing pain for an instant before I opened my eyes here again.
Day 81
Goddamned spiders.
Day 92
The shortcut to the ice caves is finished! The tunnel man has been a great help in allowing me to further my quest, which has gone on for 3 months now, by my count. Assumed it actually is a new day each time I reappear here. It could be the same day I arrived. I haven't seen natural light in what feels like ever.
Day 121
Finally made it through the damn ice caves. Did you know that yeti exist? No? Did you know they like to freeze you solid and then break little bits off your body for fun? No? Do you have any idea how much that hurts? I do. Found the tunnel man and again provided some supplies to him. Bastard better hurry. I've fallen to my death so many times I no longer have any sense of speed or height. The next area appears to be a temple, but I was too drunk by the time I got there to remember anything except falling directly into a pool of lava and slowly melting away. Adventure.
Day 136
Again found my way to the temple. Gave some supplies to the tunnel man and found myself sober enough to recall the inside of this hidden place. The temple looked to have several ancient carvings and was filled with both lava and traps. Also, there was Anubis, Egyptian god of death, just floating around. I wanted to get a closer look when he blasted me with this purple ray, which sucked the soul from my body, allowing me to feel pain on an ethereal level while I watched him hack my body to pieces as I floated helplessly. I think I need to see a psychologist after this, because the books we could write from my experiences here could make billions.
Day 140
Shockingly made it through the caves yet again, and ran into tunnel man. Do you know what this asshole asked me for this time? He's asked for bombs, rope, cash, and a shotgun (?) up to this point. This time? He asked for a gold key. I told him the only one I've seen is in the mines. Guess what that means? This jackass wants me to go through the mines, all the way back to the tunnel to the temple, while carrying a huge ass golden key. I told him to go screw himself. Then, I fell into some lava again. I may have been drunk.
Day 221
I've intentionally killed myself around 20 times now. Who cares? I'm never getting out of this goddamned place. Managed to see a giant ghost last week. As he passed through my body I froze and then proceeded to explode into dust. Hooray.
Day 242
I managed to bring the tunnel man the key. I now have direct access to the temple I also somehow managed to make it to what I presume is the end. The ancient spirit Olmec then took control of a giant idol head and crushed me into a fine paste.
Day 271
I think I've figured out Olmec's secret! I think if I act carefully, I can get the idol to smash through the floor into the lava below! I'm going to test this theory! Adventure!
Day 319
The theory has merit, I just need to stop drinking so I might actually be focused enough to get it to work. I've been crushed so many times I sometimes forget how bones work.
Day 361
I write this standing outside what I can only assume is the exit. For over a year, I have been trying to find my way out of this hellish cavern. The evil spirit Olmec constructed this ever-changing deathtrap for his own amusement, and now I've beaten him. His idol melts in a pool of lava, far below, and I stand before what I can only assume is the final door. I look forward to leaving this place and putting my experiences to use. Maybe even getting a proper crew together to explore this place in more detail. The experience has been difficult, terrifying, and has left more psychological scars than I can even imagine, but now, it's over. I've won. And I never have to go through this again.
Day 362
GOD DAMN IT.
Adventure! I have arrived at the entrance to a mine deep underground. There are ancient statues and carvings all over the walls by the entrance. Surely this is the find that I've been looking for! I've been adventuring in ancient caverns and ruins for my entire life and have never found anything like this! I can't wait to find out what's inside...
Day 2
Well that is odd. I find myself standing outside the entrance to the caves, and yet I was sure that I had just explored the mines yesterday. In fact, I seem to recall falling a great distance and (quite painfully) landing on some large spikes. Perhaps that was a dream? Ah, no matter! Onward! Adventure!
Day 3
Despite the fact I can still remember the searing pain as the acidic spittle from that cobra dissolved my skin into dust, I am again at the entrance to the caves. I feel there is some dark power at work here. I must find a way to stop it.
Day 4
I managed to uncover plenty of valuable gems and gold within the caves, and then happened upon a shopkeeper! He was selling all sorts of interesting gadgets, but most fascinating was the jetpack! I purchased it and began testing it out. Then I fell down a mineshaft, broke both my legs, and was devoured, bit by bit, by spiders. Adventure.
Day 12
I find myself inching ever closer to what appears to be a lush jungle, but each time I think I will escape these wretched mines, I find myself being offed in a variety of manners. It really is becoming quite unnerving to experience so many different levels of pain. However, I feel this adventure is just getting started. Onward!
Day 13
I made it into the jungle, and had all of ten seconds to take everything in before I was slowly devoured by a man-eating plant. I swear I can still feel its teeth boring into my flesh. I also met an odd man who seems to be trapped in the same loop as I am. He offered to dig a tunnel back to the main entrance, allowing me to bypass the mines. I gave him what he asked for, so hopefully that will pan out.
Day 16
While trying to bomb out a path I accidentally threw the explosive into the shop. The man proceeded to blast me repeatedly with a shotgun. I am considering taking up drinking at this point.
Day 22
Met the man in the tunnels again as I had made it through the mines. I again provided him the supplies he requested with the hopes I can stop having to visit these forsaken mines. I made it quite a bit further into the jungles this time, until I was stung to death repeatedly by giant bees. I'm allergic. I expanded to the size of a balloon and felt immense pain in every part of my body before I finally submitted to the sweet, sweet embrace of eternal slumber. I think I'll enlist in the Army after this journey. No one will ever be able to torture information out of me.
Day 31
Goddamned spiders.
Day 39
Aha! The man in the tunnels has completed his work and I now have access to the jungles directly! I may find my way out of here yet! I'm back here now because my flesh was rended from my bones by giant piranha. I'm still not sure all of it's here. Also, based on the number of empty beer bottles lying around the entrance, I am concerned that I'm becoming an alcoholic.
Day 42
I found the entrance to a series of frozen caves just past the jungle today. Again I found the tunnel man, who offered to make yet another shortcut. I provided the supplies and journeyed forth. I then fell into an endless chasm until I died from the G-Force trauma. This sort of thing was NOT covered by any of the archeology or safety classes I've taken. Additionally, I doubt my insurance will cover it.
Day 59
Jumped onto spikes for the hell of it. I guess I'm getting used to the pain. Or the alcohol is helping. Haven't made it to the ice caves again in weeks. I hate this place.
Day 70
Made it to the ice caves again, and found an amazing discovery! Extraterrestrial life! Yes, aliens! I witnessed their presence as they vaporized me with a flying saucer. Every molecule of my body became searing pain for an instant before I opened my eyes here again.
Day 81
Goddamned spiders.
Day 92
The shortcut to the ice caves is finished! The tunnel man has been a great help in allowing me to further my quest, which has gone on for 3 months now, by my count. Assumed it actually is a new day each time I reappear here. It could be the same day I arrived. I haven't seen natural light in what feels like ever.
Day 121
Finally made it through the damn ice caves. Did you know that yeti exist? No? Did you know they like to freeze you solid and then break little bits off your body for fun? No? Do you have any idea how much that hurts? I do. Found the tunnel man and again provided some supplies to him. Bastard better hurry. I've fallen to my death so many times I no longer have any sense of speed or height. The next area appears to be a temple, but I was too drunk by the time I got there to remember anything except falling directly into a pool of lava and slowly melting away. Adventure.
Day 136
Again found my way to the temple. Gave some supplies to the tunnel man and found myself sober enough to recall the inside of this hidden place. The temple looked to have several ancient carvings and was filled with both lava and traps. Also, there was Anubis, Egyptian god of death, just floating around. I wanted to get a closer look when he blasted me with this purple ray, which sucked the soul from my body, allowing me to feel pain on an ethereal level while I watched him hack my body to pieces as I floated helplessly. I think I need to see a psychologist after this, because the books we could write from my experiences here could make billions.
Day 140
Shockingly made it through the caves yet again, and ran into tunnel man. Do you know what this asshole asked me for this time? He's asked for bombs, rope, cash, and a shotgun (?) up to this point. This time? He asked for a gold key. I told him the only one I've seen is in the mines. Guess what that means? This jackass wants me to go through the mines, all the way back to the tunnel to the temple, while carrying a huge ass golden key. I told him to go screw himself. Then, I fell into some lava again. I may have been drunk.
Day 221
I've intentionally killed myself around 20 times now. Who cares? I'm never getting out of this goddamned place. Managed to see a giant ghost last week. As he passed through my body I froze and then proceeded to explode into dust. Hooray.
Day 242
I managed to bring the tunnel man the key. I now have direct access to the temple I also somehow managed to make it to what I presume is the end. The ancient spirit Olmec then took control of a giant idol head and crushed me into a fine paste.
Day 271
I think I've figured out Olmec's secret! I think if I act carefully, I can get the idol to smash through the floor into the lava below! I'm going to test this theory! Adventure!
Day 319
The theory has merit, I just need to stop drinking so I might actually be focused enough to get it to work. I've been crushed so many times I sometimes forget how bones work.
Day 361
I write this standing outside what I can only assume is the exit. For over a year, I have been trying to find my way out of this hellish cavern. The evil spirit Olmec constructed this ever-changing deathtrap for his own amusement, and now I've beaten him. His idol melts in a pool of lava, far below, and I stand before what I can only assume is the final door. I look forward to leaving this place and putting my experiences to use. Maybe even getting a proper crew together to explore this place in more detail. The experience has been difficult, terrifying, and has left more psychological scars than I can even imagine, but now, it's over. I've won. And I never have to go through this again.
Day 362
GOD DAMN IT.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Best Game of 2012
Well, since everyone else is doing it, I think it's time for me to
take a look at this past year and give out my Best Game of 2012 award. I
will admit that it's been a pretty tame year for me as far as game
purchases go. At my count, I've only played 10 games that were released
this year. So, I will rank all 10 of them in order and why they are
where they are. Actually, it's kind of convenient, because that allows
me to make a top 10 list again. That worked out well the last couple of
times."
Y'know, I would go into great detail about my thoughts on this game... oh wait, I already did that. Atrociously bad, one of the worst examples of a budget FPS I've ever seen, and I lived through the early 2000s when everyone and their mother was making awful First Person games.
I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't get as much out of Diablo III as I feel like I should. The new level up system is okay... though it does take away the feeling that you are a specialized character. Also, equipment is pretty much strictly for appearances now, as it all feels very bland (especially since you never just attack with your weapons, you're always using a special skill of some kind.) I get why they made the decisions they did, but I just don't feel like the game is the same level of awesome that Diablo II was, though some of that could be just my tastes in gaming changing. Although, other games still prove that being loot-driven can be tons of fun, which I will get back to later.
Two-dimensional stealth is actually a lot of fun. This game brings its share of frustrations, but at its core this game hits the key notes that make 2D gaming great. The levels are mostly static, meaning that your performance is based 95% on your skill (with 5% being up to if the game decides it doesn't want to do something you told it to.) Also, the controls are very simple and easy to get used to. All in all, a good game, but it does fall short in having some repetative level design, incrediably dumb enemies, and an overreliance on QTEs (especially for takedowns).
Yeah, I'm a Madden whore and I end up buying the new game every year. I do this for two reasons: one, because I love football. Two, because I like watching games evolve. Madden is one of the few games that can get me to buy it every year it releases, and it does so by promising new features that I've been wanting. This year, for example, the game added an actual physics engine, a more robust season/career mode, and a much stronger passing game. It executes all three of these very well, but there are some issues holding it back. One is that the physics engine is hilariously wonky at times, and you will often see your own players tripping over each other, especially after plays. Also, the running game hasn't really been balanced to reflect the new physics engine yet and needs some work, since running back performance will range between Barry Sanders and... well, Me in Football Pads. Good game, and I'll see how next year's game expands on this one.
I
was a big fan of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, so I'm no stranger to
rhythm based games. However, I've never played one without the aid of an
instrument (minigames notwithstanding). For example, I know some people
love Patapon, which is heavily rhythm based, but I didn't have that
frame of reference going into this game. However, this is absolutely
phenomenal. It probably helps that they've put in some of the most
iconic music of my childhood on here to play along with, but Theatrhythm
also has some RPG elements that provide a bit more strategy. You can
set up your character so they can perform better in the "Battle" style
songs, or so that they can keep going even if you make more mistakes
than usual, or you can even set yourself up with no aids, allowing you
to get the best scores in the game with the added challenge. The game is
really solid and offers a lot of great additional songs as DLC to
expand the 70-some song main game to a maximum of around 120. If you
like the music from Final Fantasy and you enjoy rhythm based games, you
shouldn't miss out on this.
Also known as Digital Legos: The Time Devourer. Yeah, I don't even want to start trying to figure out how many hours I've put into this game. What I love about Minecraft is that it doesn't look all that great (though it is stylized, and it captures the target look very well), has some bugs in it, and can be brutally and unfairly difficult at times, yet you just want to keep playing it. They've done a lot of work to the game since it's release in May to bring it up to where the original PC version is currently at, and we're at a state now that the game is an absolute blast. If I had to give it one major knock it would be that the combat is very unfulfilling and basic, but despite that minor gripe, it's hard to find another game that allows you to do what this game does, as well as this game does it. If you've never experienced Minecraft, I heavily recommend checking it out. I really can't sum it up any better than that.
Ah, the first smell of controversy, I'd imagine. Don't get me wrong, Mass Effect 3 is good. Damn good, in fact. The gameplay is very solid and the graphics are absolutely beautiful. The story even does a great job of evolving the game world from the last two Mass Effects and it really it's cool to see how some of your decisions have helped to shape the universe as you prepare for the final conflict. The obvious place this game fell short is the conclusion. I will admit that the Extended Cut did help provide a lot more closure, but I think my biggest frustration was that I had to spend so much time defending this game to people, when it should have stood on its own. Despite that, the game is still great (though not as great as Mass Effect 2 was), and the multiplayer is quite engaging and enjoyable, and doesn't feel tacked on at all. Plus, you can tell how much they care about the multiplayer, considering how much free content they've pumped into it (six new maps, several new enemies, new mission objectives, new characters, new weapons, the list goes on.)
Bear with me here. Yes, I know being a fan of wrestling skews my views and opinions, but I've had just a stupid amount of fun with this game. Not only have I greatly enjoyed the amount of work (and nostalgia) that was injected into the single player, but I haven't had this much fun in a multiplayer game in quite a while. The gameplay is exciting and fun, and you never really feel like you're being screwed over by the controls or engine. Your performance is completely controlled by your skills and your character's abilities. That hasn't been the case in a wrestling game in a LONG time. Hell, the online even works really well, which is something that has never happened with this franchise. All in all, the more I play this, the more I truly think this is the best wrestling game I've played. I know some of you might call BS on this one, but hey, this is my list, and these are my rules. If you want a more detailed look at this one, I've got you covered.
Hard to knock this one. Halo 4 is great. This is coming from a guy who really isn't a Halo fan. Hell, sometime soon I'm going to be putting up a post talking about Halo, since I have a lot of thoughts on the games, but that's not the point of this list. The story in this game was gripping, intense, and a hell of a lot of fun (at least on Normal, something else I want to talk about in another post... holy crap am I rambling a lot.) The multiplayer is even a lot more fun and balanced, although I'm actually kind of pissed that they took out Firefight from this year's game. Spartan Ops simply is not the same thing, and doesn't have the same level of enjoyment that Firefight provided in Halo Reach and Halo ODST. I would heavily recommend this game, even if just for the the campaign, though. I also must say that the idea of how AI Rampancy works... is just phenomenal. It's damn near Lovecraftian, which means I am obligated to love it.
Cream of the damn crop here. Borderlands 2 has proven that loot based games still have a place in our gaming culture. This literally wasn't even on my list of games for the year to purchase, but somehow, here it is. The first Borderlands game tended to be excruciatingly boring, especially if you were playing it by yourself, and the story can be broken down to "You hero, open door, kill bad things." There were a couple of interesting characters on the way, but the game ultimately took itself way too seriously the entire way through. Borderlands 2, however, is completely different. The gameplay is a lot more fun with the vastly varying weapons and enemies, the unique skill trees of each character, and the story. Holy crap, the story is so good. It starts off with a literal bang, and just keeps growing into a bigger and bigger snowball of awesome. I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say this: Handsome Jack is the greatest video game villain of the year, bar none, and deserves to be high up on a Top 10 list of all time greatest villains. The guy is everything a bad guy should be. The game is great, the multiplayer makes it better, and the story actually makes you care about the world. Great job all around to Gearbox on this one.
Do you agree with this list? Disagree? Want to call me names? Feel free to do any/all of the following in the comments section.
10. Battleship (Xbox 360)
Y'know, I would go into great detail about my thoughts on this game... oh wait, I already did that. Atrociously bad, one of the worst examples of a budget FPS I've ever seen, and I lived through the early 2000s when everyone and their mother was making awful First Person games.
9. Diablo III (PC)
I'm a bit disappointed that I didn't get as much out of Diablo III as I feel like I should. The new level up system is okay... though it does take away the feeling that you are a specialized character. Also, equipment is pretty much strictly for appearances now, as it all feels very bland (especially since you never just attack with your weapons, you're always using a special skill of some kind.) I get why they made the decisions they did, but I just don't feel like the game is the same level of awesome that Diablo II was, though some of that could be just my tastes in gaming changing. Although, other games still prove that being loot-driven can be tons of fun, which I will get back to later.
8. Mark of the Ninja (Xbox 360 Arcade)
Two-dimensional stealth is actually a lot of fun. This game brings its share of frustrations, but at its core this game hits the key notes that make 2D gaming great. The levels are mostly static, meaning that your performance is based 95% on your skill (with 5% being up to if the game decides it doesn't want to do something you told it to.) Also, the controls are very simple and easy to get used to. All in all, a good game, but it does fall short in having some repetative level design, incrediably dumb enemies, and an overreliance on QTEs (especially for takedowns).
7. Madden 13 (Xbox 360)
Yeah, I'm a Madden whore and I end up buying the new game every year. I do this for two reasons: one, because I love football. Two, because I like watching games evolve. Madden is one of the few games that can get me to buy it every year it releases, and it does so by promising new features that I've been wanting. This year, for example, the game added an actual physics engine, a more robust season/career mode, and a much stronger passing game. It executes all three of these very well, but there are some issues holding it back. One is that the physics engine is hilariously wonky at times, and you will often see your own players tripping over each other, especially after plays. Also, the running game hasn't really been balanced to reflect the new physics engine yet and needs some work, since running back performance will range between Barry Sanders and... well, Me in Football Pads. Good game, and I'll see how next year's game expands on this one.
6. Theatrhythm Final Fantasy (3DS)
5. Minecraft (Xbox 360 Arcade)
Also known as Digital Legos: The Time Devourer. Yeah, I don't even want to start trying to figure out how many hours I've put into this game. What I love about Minecraft is that it doesn't look all that great (though it is stylized, and it captures the target look very well), has some bugs in it, and can be brutally and unfairly difficult at times, yet you just want to keep playing it. They've done a lot of work to the game since it's release in May to bring it up to where the original PC version is currently at, and we're at a state now that the game is an absolute blast. If I had to give it one major knock it would be that the combat is very unfulfilling and basic, but despite that minor gripe, it's hard to find another game that allows you to do what this game does, as well as this game does it. If you've never experienced Minecraft, I heavily recommend checking it out. I really can't sum it up any better than that.
4. Mass Effect 3 (Xbox 360)
Ah, the first smell of controversy, I'd imagine. Don't get me wrong, Mass Effect 3 is good. Damn good, in fact. The gameplay is very solid and the graphics are absolutely beautiful. The story even does a great job of evolving the game world from the last two Mass Effects and it really it's cool to see how some of your decisions have helped to shape the universe as you prepare for the final conflict. The obvious place this game fell short is the conclusion. I will admit that the Extended Cut did help provide a lot more closure, but I think my biggest frustration was that I had to spend so much time defending this game to people, when it should have stood on its own. Despite that, the game is still great (though not as great as Mass Effect 2 was), and the multiplayer is quite engaging and enjoyable, and doesn't feel tacked on at all. Plus, you can tell how much they care about the multiplayer, considering how much free content they've pumped into it (six new maps, several new enemies, new mission objectives, new characters, new weapons, the list goes on.)
3. WWE 13 (Xbox 360)
Bear with me here. Yes, I know being a fan of wrestling skews my views and opinions, but I've had just a stupid amount of fun with this game. Not only have I greatly enjoyed the amount of work (and nostalgia) that was injected into the single player, but I haven't had this much fun in a multiplayer game in quite a while. The gameplay is exciting and fun, and you never really feel like you're being screwed over by the controls or engine. Your performance is completely controlled by your skills and your character's abilities. That hasn't been the case in a wrestling game in a LONG time. Hell, the online even works really well, which is something that has never happened with this franchise. All in all, the more I play this, the more I truly think this is the best wrestling game I've played. I know some of you might call BS on this one, but hey, this is my list, and these are my rules. If you want a more detailed look at this one, I've got you covered.
2. Halo 4 (Xbox 360)
Hard to knock this one. Halo 4 is great. This is coming from a guy who really isn't a Halo fan. Hell, sometime soon I'm going to be putting up a post talking about Halo, since I have a lot of thoughts on the games, but that's not the point of this list. The story in this game was gripping, intense, and a hell of a lot of fun (at least on Normal, something else I want to talk about in another post... holy crap am I rambling a lot.) The multiplayer is even a lot more fun and balanced, although I'm actually kind of pissed that they took out Firefight from this year's game. Spartan Ops simply is not the same thing, and doesn't have the same level of enjoyment that Firefight provided in Halo Reach and Halo ODST. I would heavily recommend this game, even if just for the the campaign, though. I also must say that the idea of how AI Rampancy works... is just phenomenal. It's damn near Lovecraftian, which means I am obligated to love it.
1. Borderlands 2 (Xbox 360)
Cream of the damn crop here. Borderlands 2 has proven that loot based games still have a place in our gaming culture. This literally wasn't even on my list of games for the year to purchase, but somehow, here it is. The first Borderlands game tended to be excruciatingly boring, especially if you were playing it by yourself, and the story can be broken down to "You hero, open door, kill bad things." There were a couple of interesting characters on the way, but the game ultimately took itself way too seriously the entire way through. Borderlands 2, however, is completely different. The gameplay is a lot more fun with the vastly varying weapons and enemies, the unique skill trees of each character, and the story. Holy crap, the story is so good. It starts off with a literal bang, and just keeps growing into a bigger and bigger snowball of awesome. I don't want to spoil anything, but I will say this: Handsome Jack is the greatest video game villain of the year, bar none, and deserves to be high up on a Top 10 list of all time greatest villains. The guy is everything a bad guy should be. The game is great, the multiplayer makes it better, and the story actually makes you care about the world. Great job all around to Gearbox on this one.
Do you agree with this list? Disagree? Want to call me names? Feel free to do any/all of the following in the comments section.
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